


The Heir and The Spare

by sky_NoLimit



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, hurt!Kili
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-07 07:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1891095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_NoLimit/pseuds/sky_NoLimit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the second born Kili faces the burden of being both necessary and unnecessary. We follow him as he travels through a truculent childhood where he struggles to be part of the family and the House of Durin, as well as live up to everyone's expectations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> I am new. This is a fact that will become abundantly clear when you read my uncoordinated and frantic writings. As a responsible writer of fanfic, and despite my junior status, I feel duty bound to inform you of this fact. I will not be responsible for no anyone’s safety nor their fate (lol, Hobbit reference). None the less I hope that a few out their can find enjoyment in this work and the possible others I may attempt in the future.  
> In this fic everyone lived, almost, Smaug came but was defeated, Moria still happened with Thrain and Thror lost and Azog still an elusive threat in the background. I have bent timelines and events, also despite being a Tolkien fan I would never claim to be an expert so please forgive any inaccuracies or cover-ups of my lack of Middle-Earthian knowledge.  
> On a different note, but still a warning, there will be some dark themes in this work and I would warn anyone who is sensitive to traumatic incidents read with caution, if at all. In the immortal words of Status Quo ‘Well here we are, and here we are, and here we GO!’

It was a dark and stormy night in mid autumn at the cottage where Dis had chosen to take refuge in the final weeks of her pregnancy. The wind howled and roared around the small abode but, as far as Fili could tell, the noise of the storm was nothing compared to noise his mother was currently making. The moment she had first groaned he had been shuffled off into his room by Dwalin, much against his desire, yet as the groaning had gradually turned into yelling before moving to screaming Fili came to be vastly appreciative of Dwalins decision. Fili was greatly concerned for his mother, it hadn’t been long since the tragic loss of his father, Vili, to a mining accident and now his mother was screaming in agony and everyone was looking extremely nervous. He needed his mother, he had a new baby coming soon if his mother died now who would look after the baby when it finally arrived? It’s not that Fili didn’t want a sibling, quite the opposite really, but he didn’t feel like he was ready to shoulder that responsibility. But, ignoring the new baby, Fili was still a very young dwarfling himself, how could he survive with neither a mother nor a father? His Uncle Thorin had taken the loss of his own brother Frerin very hard and in the months that followed Frerins passing Thorin had retreated from Dis and her family. Thorin was not a major physical presence in Fili’s life and in such Fili knew little of him other thank he was a King (of sorts). Not that he was overly sure in his Uncle anyway, he always looked severe and even the memory of his deep growl was enough to make Fili shiver. As this thought graced Filis mind another scream tore through the night. Shaking Fili pulled his blanket closer around his body, but soon his interest was piqued by a new noise. A wail. High pitched and determined it cut straight to Fili’s chest like an arrow. Curiosity, the downfall of everything young, was what drove Fili to his bedroom door to try a see what the new sound was. As he inched the door open Fili saw Dwalin mopping his mother’s brow with a cloth.

“Well done Dis. You should be proud, Mahal knows Vili would be o’your heroic efforts” Dwalin rumbled with a gentle smile gracing his lips.

“I only wish he could be here. But I have my two boys now and that shall keep me.” Dis smiled sadly at this thought but looked over as the wailing grew.  
“May I hold him Oin? I wish to see my son, so much.”

“Of course Lady Dis, he is well and strong. A true credit to both you and Vili. He looks remarkably like Thorin though, except his eyes. He has eyes like Thror had deep and dark.” Oin turned holding a small wrap of blankets and Fili continued to stare mutely at the scene before him. 

This new information was boggling to the young Dwarfling still surveying the room from the gap in his door. Boys? He was only one boy, where was this other one? Who looks like Grandfather? The blankets were passed to his mother and in doing so Fili saw them move! Now this whole situation had turned truly bizarre as Fili saw it. What on earth was making those blankets move like that? 

“Dwalin, could you fetch Fili for me please? He should be here too and hopefully Thorin will be here soon. I can imagine the storm must be holding him up.” Dis confirmed, sure in the knowledge that her brother would be most disappointed to have missed the birth but be ever glad to see another son, another heir to the throne. In looking at the bundle in her arms Dis misses the look of concern Dwalin throws to Oin who returns it with a saddened shrug as if to say ‘what can you do?’. Dwalin turns to head for Filis room and sees the inquisitive blue azure eyes peering out at trio in living space of the cottage. 

“Com’on laddie, there’s someone here to say hello” with this Dwalin steps forward and holds a bear like hand out toward Fili. With utter caution and suspicion aimed at the bundle in his mother’s arms Fili steps forward. Yet, he grasps Dwalins hand firmly and with his sword tutor by his side he steps forward without fear to approach his mother. They step up the sofa and Dwalin hold his hands behind Filis back as he stretches up to see what his mother holds. As he does so Dis sweeps back part of the blanket and says,

“This is your little brother Fili. His name is Kili. What do you think?” She says in a reassuring tone, followed by an encouraging smile. Fili looks down at the little face nestled in the blanket and feels a heat in his chest as his own smile graces his face.

“He’s quite small. But I suppose he will get bigger. Do you think he’d like to play with me?” Fili asks with apprehension. Dwalin chuckles at the young Princes worries and can already see a future of a strong brotherly bond between the two. Dwalin hopes that the boys will become as fast as Balin and he for he knows the love of a brother is always a comfort even in the darkest of days. At this his heart laments all the more for Thorin who has lost his own brother and in doing so, distanced himself from Dis and Fili. Dis needed Thorin to be there when she lost he husband but Thorin had only been a passing being in Filis life so far. A potentially problematic thing since Fili was the heir to Thorin’s throne. 

“I’m sure he will love playing with his big brother, but he might be a little small to do that for a while.” Dis smiles happily, content with her boys around her.   
“That’s OK, I don’t mind waiting for my brother,” Fili grins in equal happiness. This makes Diss’ heart swell with pride at the love and affection Fili is already willing to show towards Kili, especially the revere with which he says the way brother. As the four smile down at the small bundle their peace is suddenly interrupted by a heavy knock at the door. Dis turns with eager eyes as Oin rushes to open the door. For a moment the three adults hold their breath as the door is opening. Oin steps back to allow a dripping cloaked figure enter the cottage. The dark hood is swept back to reveal Balin. Dwalins heart sinks and he knows that Dis loses a bit more faith in her brother. Nonetheless Dis is warm and welcoming.

“Balin! So wonderful you’re here, please come warm up by the fire and meet the newest to the House of Durin. Prince Kili” she beams at the newest arrival. Balin sweeps here a bow before approaching.

“Lady Dis, congratulations on the birth of your son Kili and...”

“Oh Balin, you are an old dear friend don’t stand on pomp and ceremony. You are most welcome here so come and make yourself comfortable.” Dis says smiling with genuine warmth in her eyes as she cuts across him.

“I am most grateful My Lady; the weather is truly fowl outside. Thorin sends his apologies for not being here himself, Dain is creating yet more problems about visiting and Thorin is being heavily weyleyed by envoys from the Iron Hills.” Balin says this all in the perfunctory form of a messenger and all, except Fili, are well aware that this is a flimsy excuse for not coming to see Dis and the baby. 

The moment Balin entered and Fili was assured his Uncle was not the one paying a visit his attention had immediately turned back to Kili and watching as he slept peacefully in their mothers arms. Now Balin approached and peered over the top of Fili to inspect the new addition.

“He’ll be a fine looking Dwarf I imagine. You must be very proud Fili to have a little brother.” Smiling down at Fili warmly.  
Fili nods his assurance before his attention is yet again ensnared in watching Kili, who is starting to stir and shift in the blankets.

“I think we are about to be interrupted for dinner,” Dis says knowingly and as if on cue Kili begins to snuffle and whine. 

“I shall take my leave to inform the King of the arrival of the new Prince My Lady, but congratulations once again.” Balin sweeps a low bow. Dwalin steps towards Dis before bending to kiss her brow.

“I too shall leave you in peace Dis, but I will return tomorrow to see how you all fair.” Dwalin, too, sweeps a low bow before heading for the door. 

“Thank you for coming, both of you. Give my love to Thorin; I hope he can visit soon” Dis replies. They both hear the sadness in her voice at her brother’s absence and hope they can persuade Thorin to come soon. 

“Oin I have taken up enough of your time tonight, please we shall be fine go and rest. But thank you for all that you have done tonight. I am ever grateful to you” Dis says addressing the doctor. 

“You are most welcome My Lady, I shall return with Dwalin tomorrow to see how you all fair. But should need anything in the meantime do not hesitate to send for me” before he too sweeps Dis a low bow. With that, the three visitors retreat out into the storm. The wind that rushes into the house stirs little Kili all the more and he begins to wail in earnest. At this Fili takes a small step back, unsure what to make of the noise. Dis gives him an encouraging smile before saying,

“Do not worry sweetheart he is only hungry, but it is time you too were off to bed it’s very late and you do have lessons tomorrow.” She gives him a kiss on his forehead.

“Ok Mama, I love you and I love you too Kili” the little Prince says as he stretches to peck his mothers on the cheek and give the baby a kiss to his forehead. At the kiss Kili stops his noise and looks in wonder at his brother with deep brown eyes.

“Look at that Fili, I think he already knows how important you are to him. Now off to bed, quick, quick!” Dis chides. With a last look over his shoulder Fili hops towards his room and gets into bed being careful to the leave the door ajar so he can listen to his mother and brother. 

Finally alone Dis looks down at the small babe asleep in her arms and smiles as he gazes back at her with those deep pools of mahogany. A quiet moment between mother and son.


	2. Dis-interested

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments, they've encourage me to put this next chapter out a little earlier than I originally planned. Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but it felt like it needed to be said. Anyways.....heeeeere's Thorin! (lol, The Shining) 
> 
> -Just a quick note to say another chapter is coming but real life is being unhelpful and causing delays. But the dawn is coming!

The rain continued to thunder on much in the same way as yet another of Dains envoys sent to discuss the renegotiation of the Erebor treaty set down by Thorin and he following the fall of Smaug. Thorin despaired of the endless prattling. He had already decided that a renegotiation was out of the question and the initial lump sum paid to Dain had been more than generous for his assistance in dealing with Smaug; he’d told the envoy as much. But this was a Dwarf in every aspect of character persistent and stubborn to the point of excruciation irritation on Thorins part. Thorin turned his head to look at the rain lashing against the window. In truth his mind was far from here and certainly not in the Iron Hills; his thoughts lay with his beloved sister Dis. A neighbour of her cottage had rushed in with a message that she had gone into labour and he had immediately dispatched a disgruntled Balin to see to her welfare. He cared for his sister but he could not see the need to flap over another child of hers, he had Fili. Thorin knew little of him other than what Balin and Dwalin reported of his learning and training. From the sounds young Fili was the true essence of the House of Durin and going to make a fine Dwarf warrior and future King of Erebor. What did he need another for? It was important to have spare, the years of a Dwarfling are fragile like any child’s but Fili was well cared for and protected. What if it was a girl? Then the child would be of truly no use, except for maybe a marriage negotiation. Well that was certainly a possible offer to give Dains envoy, might even make him leave. Thorins thoughts continued in the vain for some time and the envoy continued to spill his reasoning for the need to renegotiate.  
It’s not that Thorin didn’t care, but all those around him knew those years of unfortunate incidents and hardship had left the Dwarf King with a somewhat troubled and often preoccupied mind that had little time for domestic issues. The reclaiming of Erebor from Smaug had cost Thorin his brother. The championing of Moria had destroyed his Grandfather (who was admittedly greatly troubled at the time of his death with a sickness of the mind), his Father (who also hadn’t been quite right since the reclaiming of Erebor) had subsequently been driven from sense by the death of Thror and vanished, and the ever present threat of Azog. Who, despite the vehement outward protestations of Thorin, was very much a hidden threat and Thorin knew so, down to his very core being. So in truth, Thorin had taken the throne fair earlier than any had anticipated, faced the loss of family and been slowly reducing under the stress of caring for such a large kingdom of Dwarves. He was not the Dwarf he was. Dwalin knew of this and it pained him to see Thorin push away his remaining family under the guise of running a kingdom but in truth being unable to face anymore domestic adversity, whether it was simple family matters or the loss of yet another of his dwindling group of relatives.  
Thorin heaved another sigh, when would this constant drivel end? As he prepared to exhale another resigned breath he heard the dulcet tones of Balin permeate the air. Looking up with tired eyes he watched his closest advisor and confident approach in a rain soaked cloak. He sat a little straighter when he noticed the frown gracing the lined face of Dwalin, who followed Balin. 

“Well, does she survive?” He hadn’t meant for such an abrupt beginning to the conversation but too late to recall the words now wasn’t it? Balin barely reacted to words, by now being much too used to the gruff exterior of his King.

“She does so, very well actually Your Majesty. A new little Prince has the joined the ranks of the House of Durin.” Balin responded with great pleasure. 

“Good, I’m glad she does well. I suppose I really do have my spare now” Thorin growled with minimal emotion. 

“A...spare, Thorin?” Dwalin queried. Damn, Thorin hadn’t meant to say that last part but like hell was he about to lose face in front of Dains moronic envoy.

“Yes, I already have Fili to secure the throne of Erebor to the House of Durin. But now I have a spare to bargain with or fallback on should any misfortune befall Fili. What’s the name of the Dwarfling?” Thorin reasoned to Dwalin. Despite the question Dwalin could barely form a response. Spare? Who on earth could refer to their heir and newest nephew as a spare? Fortunately Balin, ever the diplomat, was quicker to reorganise his thoughts than his broad-shouldered younger brother

“You are right having a second Prince does secure the endurance of the House of Durin. The new Prince is named Kili and is already strong and healthy in life” Balin informed Thorin whilst carefully withholding his anger under a well worn guise of professionalism.

“Good, the name isn’t particularly unique but he is the second, as long as the world is knows of Fili there is no need to be concerned about the name of a second.” Thorin retorted, his mind flickering back his own brother Frerin and how it seemed as if he and Dis were the only ones who noticed his passing. A harsh fact of the world but nonetheless a real one, that although many will be sad when someone dies it will only be a few whom really mourn the loss and remember the dead. But having Kili would be useful Thorin pondered, he would provide protection for Fili, a suitable distraction for those who bore ill-intent towards the future King Under the Mountain. Thorin reflected on how when Frerin had passed on all Thror could say was that this was how Princes survived to become King; by their lesser being sacrificed for their future. Thror: hard and cold like the rock around him but ever the pragmatist. Thorin had felt such anguish when Thror had spoken to him about Frerins death that Frerins own Grandfather could speak so callously of his death. Balin too had been present for that particular conversation on Kingly duties between Thror and Thorin and he had seen it as confirmation in his mind of Thrors failing mental health. But before Balin could sooth the wounds Thror had inflicted on Thorins heart the young Prince had left to deliver the news to his sister. Balin regretted not trying to talk to Thorin more in the days that had followed Frerins death but the Kingdom of Erebor was in turmoil and there was much to sorted and Thror needed all his advisors more than ever to sooth the tensions and begin to heal the realm.  
Thorins musings were cut short by a crash of thunder bringing the King back to the resent with an impassive faced Balin and a seething Dwalin before him, as well as the now rather snubbed Iron Hills envoy. Balin took a steady step forward.

“You should go to your Sister and her Son Thorin. Dis would be most happy to see you and you could see Fili too. He would be very excited to see his Uncle the King.” Balin voice resonated smooth and but firm, almost fatherly. Thorins eyes locked with Balins, his bright blue diamonds facing the aged grey stone of Balins. He knew Balin was right and he would need to see the Prince at some point to provide a blessing but it wasn’t vital. The hour was late and Dis would most likely be exhausted as she was when Fili was born, she fell asleep during Thorins visit that time. Before Thorin could respond however, the envoy butted in.

“Your Majesty on behalf of His Majesty Dain of the Iron Hills, many congratulations to the House of Durin on the safe birth of a new heir...” The envoy began but was soon cut across

“Not a new heir but another to provide security to the first. A brother, a spare. And yes the House of Durin is secure in its lineage.” Thorin rumbled climbing to his feet.

“But there is now doubt the Fili will be my direct heir to the throne and his brother a close advisor. Dain does not need to be concerned with the lineage where the throne of Erebor is concerned” snarled Thorin, now stalking towards the envoy who took several measured steps back.

“Your majesty I i-intended no o-o-offence. Merely to offer c-congratulations, not i-i-insinuate any interest in the th-throne of E-Erebor from the Iron H-hills” the envoy simpered whilst backing away in nervous shuffles as Thorin prowled closer.

“No and should Dains mind ever dared wonder he can know now that the House of Durin is set to endure in Erebor. Return to your master you blanching pup and tell him he is most welcome to visit and meet Prince Fili for himself so he can be secure in the knowledge of Erebors Kings. I know how that fear must plague him. Be gone.” Thorin stood towering over the envoy and the dignitary struggled to bow from his already semi-curled body and beat a hasty retreat from the Hall of the Kings. 

Balin sighed inwardly, since the reclaiming of Erebor Thorin had been prone to rash reactions, many of which were not tempered and often out of proportion. The envoy had meant no ill-intent and was only trying to recapture the disinterested Kings attention so as to complete his visit and leave. But this was Thorin, he had little patience anymore and was constantly under the cloud of misinterpretation and suspicion of others. Thorin exhaled deeply before turning back to Balin. His head was clouding witht he fog of a spectacular migraine and he’d had enough of duties for one day.

“Balin, I shall visit Dis and Fili tomorrow. You’re right it has been far too long since I saw my heir” Thorin said with calm authority. It was time Fili took a more prominant position in the court, Throin needed Dain to know he had an heir and Erebor was sturdy under its leaders. 

“Yer’ can give little Kili your Kingly blessing too and greet your new nephew” Dwalin rumbled with disbelief that Thorin had put aside the importance of bestowing the Kings blessing on his new heir.

“Yes of course I shall do that too. I shall see you both at breakfast. Good night.” Without waiting for a reply Thorin turned and left through the side of the hall to make for his private chambers. Dwalin took a step as if to follow but was prevented by a strong hand on his forearm.

“Leave him brother, you’ll get nothing but discontent from him now. The King has agreed to go see his nephew that is all we can hope for” Balin reassured Dwalin. Dwalin looked on helplessly at where Thorin had left, for a while he knew something troubled his friend deeply but had never managed to speak of it. Dwalin hoped that now with some security to the line of Durin that Thorin could relax and maybe in time he would see the fire and warmth that used to define his oldest friend.


	3. Visitors Who Come A-visiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this much delayed chapter. I have made it a bit longer as a way of an apology! It's a little feeble and I'm not overly satisfied but I did feel better once I had got it out of my head. Hopefully things will improve as we continue.  
> Thanks to all who have commented and Kudos'd, hope you enjoy and I will try to update more frequently now real life had taken a breather!   
> Many thanks,  
> Sky

The morning dawned pale and clear leaving the storm of the night before a distant memory. Light streamed through the kitchen window as Fili took his first tentative steps from his room to head for the living room in search of his mother and brother. Brother. Fili thought to himself. A complete, very real, miniature dwarf that was his to care for. Following the events of the previous night, Fili had fallen asleep wondering what it would be like to have a brother. Naturally, his dreams had followed a similar course. He saw himself and an older dwarfling teaching his brother to ride and how to fight with a sword. He saw them following his Uncle Thorin around the great halls of Erebor and one day stood side by side leading their people. As he has dreamt Fili felt pride, pride and honour in being tasked with the care and guiding of a younger brother. But also excitement in the future adventures he could partake in with his brother and the explorations they could carry out. It’s not that Fili didn’t have his own friends but that Dwarflings are not a common occurrence and so it is unusual to more than a handful of Dwarflings your own age, even in a empire as large as in Erebor. Having said that, being royal was also not a conducive factor to having an awful lot of friends. Fili had always been limited in who he could play with and often found himself squirreled away with only his mother, Dwalin or Balin for company. Everyone had always acted so fearful at the idea of him being out of site or getting too rambunctious, reminding him to be careful and not partake in risky behaviour. Frankly, as Fili saw it, allowing him to train with Dwalin was pretty risky in itself, that Dwarf was huge and warrior to his core! Fili had always felt that if everyone was so worried for his health and well being he should be at least allowed to practise with other Dwarfling rather than being pitted one-on-one with Dwalin all the time. And it wasn’t fair, Dwalin always won! Putting aside his musings on the size of Dwalin Fili refocused on moving through the small cottage a quietly as possible so as not to disturb his mother or Kili. 

Peeking around the corner of the wall he saw his mother still asleep on their sofa with Kili, still bundled in a blanket, nestled within her arms. She looked happy, even in sleep, and it brought solace to the fluttering in his stomach that had been present since the loss of his father. The death had hit his mother hard and although she had done her best to maintain a strong outlook for the good of Fili, he had heard her cry in despair both awake and asleep many nights since then and had seen the shadow and lines that appeared on her face and aged her beautiful radiance. But with Kili there she looked how he remembered; with warm tint in her cheeks compared to the alabaster of late and the shadows under her eyes were a mere hint of what they had been previously. Creeping closer Fili edged towards his mother and brother coming to rest alongside the sofa. He knelt on the floor and timidly curled back the edge of the blanket so as to admire Kili a little more. He studied his brother with a critical eye. Noticing the very dark cloud of hair adorning Kili’s head, the delicate button nose with its rosy pink shade, the gentle roundness of his cheeks and slightly pursed little lips a subtle hue of cherry. All in all, Fili could see his brother was going to be handsome. But Fili knew he would have loved him regardless of how he looked, even if he looked like an Orc! Although, admittedly, his little brother being adorable was beneficial to encouraging the brotherly affection Fili felt.

As Dis came to from sleep she looked upon Fili’s face and watched at how he was transfixed by his little brother. She was relieved that Fili had taken to Kili so immediately, Dis couldn’t help but remember the strop Thorin had thrown, and the many that had followed, at discovering the birth of his younger brother Frerin. Thorin had had some difficulty adjusting to the younger prince, typical sibling rivalry. What changed Thorin’s position of Frerin in the end was Thrain, not through any fatherly advice mind you. Quite the opposite actually, but it had the necessary affect nonetheless. Subsequent to the arrival of a second Prince their father, Thrain, had taken more of a relaxed view concerning his input on the family. He was heard proclaiming during dinner one night that now he had two heirs the Durin line was secure in its position, should one fail there would be another to take the throne. Dis remembered her mother ushering the Thorin and herself away with the maid away from the dinner table before rounding on their father. Dis had seen Thorin’s face fall when his father so casually discussed his possible demise and the little consequence it would have. Little did many know that the Gold Sickness had already begun to take its toll upon Thrain’s mind. Dis’s mother had admonished her husband for such a cavalier attitude to their children’s existence; Thrain raised his voice to argue the otherside as the door swung shut behind the Dwarflings. Arriving in the nursery the maid about turned and left to order some food to be brought for the Dwarflings. Dis turned to see her brother approaching the crib in which little Frerin napped. She followed with caution, concerned at how Thrain’s proclamation might have made Thorin even grumpier about their little brother. But as she approached she heard him whispering tentatively to the little figure that looked back at him with dark toffee eyes. 

“He’s right you are important, I need you to be there with me. But you need me too, I need to keep you safe because you are all we have should I and Father fail to make it to the throne.....and...You’re not really that awful. But...you do make a lot of noise.” Thorin chattered to Frerin, more than Dis had heard him say in the entire 6 months Frerin had lived. She observed as Thorin hesitantly brushed a finger along the deep brown, almost black, hairline of their younger brother. Frerin gurgled and bubbled at the conversation, seemingly responding to Thorin’s words which only served to bring a sunny grin to the usually severe Dwarfling.

Dis looked at Fili now and saw the same dedication and honesty she had seen in Thorin’s eyes all those years ago. It gave her comfort, but equally it frightened her. Life was perilous and the loss of Frerin had hit Thorin very hard, to the point where his severity had grown into a dark shadow that haunted his once balanced countenance. Her fear was the with the hazardous nature of being a Durin that both of her sons faced the loss of the other and with the attachment Fili was already showing towards Kili, how could she be sure that should anything happen to Kili that Fili wouldn’t change like Thorin had. Of course, the idea of losing either of her sons mortified her but she had already lost her brother, her husband, her Grandfather... anyone else might be added to the list. Fili looked up and saw his mother had awoken, he smiled upon her and she readily returned.

“How did you sleep amad? Were you comfortable out here?” Fili asked.

“Fine sweetheart, Kili slept soundly. The fire you had made last night kept us beautifully toasty” his mother replied warmly.

Fili glowed with pleasure that he had already managed to take good care of his little brother, so please that things were already going so well for them. The start of chatter had aroused Kili, who blearily opened his eyes and began to drink in his surroundings. 

“Your Uncle might be visiting today” Dis said conversationally, reading Fili’s response. His eyes flickered towards his mother, not unlike her assessing gaze upon him, before he responded.

“He needs to give his blessing right? On Kili, to make him a proper Durin?” Fili said, unsure since his Uncle didn’t always prize family as a priority and may well choose to overlook them. 

As is always the case with these things, a heavy knock rolled through the cottage effectively denying Fili’s concern about the non-appearance of his Uncle. Dis ushered Fili off to answer the door as she shuffled to pull herself more upright and brush her hair from her eyes. She knew her borther wouldn’t approve of her rather disheveled state but Mahal, if he was going to insist on knocking first thing in the morning before the dawn birds had finished the early ballad then it was his own problem.

Fili reached the door and looked nervously back at his mother who gave him and encouraging smile and flap of her hand to motion he could open the door. Fili breathed deep to steady himself before pulling on the latch with all the weight his tiny body could muster and hauling it backwards. He felt his chest clamp onto the large breath he had taken as he beheld his Uncle in the doorway in fine robes with sunlight streaming around him in the serenity of the preceding storm. His Uncle stepped forward into the cottage at which point Fili noticed Dwalin and Balin standing with Oin the Doctor in the wake of the King. 

“Fili, you have grown some since I last saw you. Is your mother well?” Thorin spoke with his ever so deep rumble. From anyone else the statement would hold tenderness and love at greeting a young nephew and asking after his mother. But from Thorin it came across as perfunctory, a matter of State business. By the time Fili was over his initial awe and had managed to draw another breath Thorin has already brushed past him towards his sister, leaving Dwalin to shepherd him in and close the door with Fili still in a condition of bafflement. Dwalin felt for the Dwarfling as he steered Fili back towards his mother, who was being watched over by Thorin and Oin asked a few questions to confirm her good health.

“Well all considered Dis, you are doing well for such a tricky birth. I do say the little fellow made sure we had our work cut out!” Oin said as he bustled about her person, feeling her forehead and taking her pulse. 

“I am glad you are well sister. How does the boy fair?” Thorin asked in a mechanical tone, his eyes were fixed on Kili and Fili felt the need to stand by his mothers head so he could be a little closer to his brother.

“He is well, slept through most of the night despite the storm,” Dis responded measuring her older brother.

“Good. He will survive then. I give my blessing to the newest member of the House of Durin and hope he can bring honour to the family name.” In saying this Thorin touched his hand to Kili’s forehead, when, upon being touched, he turned his curious eyes towards Thorin in astonishment absorbing as much as he could from the bizarre figure above him.

“Would you like to hold him Thorin? Meet him properly? He looks so much like...”Dis began but was quickly cut across by Thorin.

“No” he said rather shortly.

“I can’t stay Dain’s envoy still remains and I wish to be rid of his lingering presence sooner rather than later. I have blessed the boy that is all that is required. But I will inform you now Dis, that with this birth it is time Fili began to learn the ways of Kingship. I am too busy now so he may continue his casual instruction with Balin until the end of winter this year but I will expect him to start his proper training come the spring.” Thorin demanded.

“Thorin, I understand the importance but don’t you think that a little premature Fili will still only be a child really.” Dis countered, fearful of what her brother’s intense instruction might do to her little Fili. Thorin turned his gaze to Fili before filtering it back to Kili.

“You’re right, babies are fragile and there will be little point in risking Fili in court if there is no second heir. Once the baby is up and moving Fili will start his instruction.” Thorin stated in his mechanical way. Fili furrowed his brow in confusion, what risk was there at court? It was full of old Dwarves and paper. What did his Uncle mean ‘if there is no second heir’? He was looking right at Kili. Before Fili could consider the conversation further, his mother cut through his thoughts.

“His name is Kili, Thorin. He is strong and healthy, he will be fine but I won’t have you wrecking Fili’s childhood because of your own desire to ‘secure the Line’.” Dis said with a finality that said everything but ‘please have a seat and stay for breakfast’.

“I didn’t...what I...” Thorin faltered. There were few things that could bring him back down to earth but one was, and would always be, his sister. He ruffled himself and steadied his stance before saying,

“Well, I shall leave you be. I have given my blessing. I’m glad you are all well, good day sister” with that he turned a marched towards the door. Here he turned and with a look of hinted regret he said,

“He would be very proud of all of you Dis.” With that, he swept out of the door his royal blue robe fluttering in the autumn breeze. 

“I guess we better hasten to My Lady, but it heartens me to see you doing so well” Balin reassured her. Turning to Fili, Dwalin addressed him.

“Take care of ‘em laddie, I know you will. But send a runner should you want for anything. Wonderful seeing you again Dis.” All parties having finished their goodbyes, the visitors departed swiftly after their King pulling the door shut behind them. Dis released a heady breath.

“Well Fili, I’m glad we have done that. It wasn’t pleasant but it’s done now. How about we sort some breakfast?” Dis said whilst beginning to lift herself and Kili up in order to make for the kitchen. Fili was watching the door, his Uncle really was a out of the ordinary Dwarf, he was like a wizard in that Fili was never sure what he meant nor what he was thinking. But with breakfast now being offered his mind quickly moved away from complicated persons and he pottered over to help his mother with a smile on his cheeks. Whilst all the while being blissfully unaware of the subtext that had just flown about the room.


	4. Finding Our Feet Is When We Find Ourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, apologies for my lateness. This is marginally shorter than the others and my brain was a little muddled to say the least but hopefully it'll meet approval. Any and all comments/criticisms are welcome because if I'm honest, I have no idea what I'm doing as you can tell. Ah well, of we go!
> 
> Laters,  
> Sky

It was late afternoon and having been very busy with his lessons in the morning young Fili was enjoying some post-lunch peace on the hearth rug with his chalk and paper. Dis was pleased to have Fili quiet and settled so she could set about her own business in organising the household and responding to her own correspondents. As being a Princess of Erebor it was part of her duty that she too must take part in keeping in touch with other nobles and gentry as much as it was Thorin's. The two were settled for some time in the tranquillity of their cottage and after a short while the rustling of life could be heard from the rear of the cottage before a snuffle and a loud cry was heard. Dis gave a disgruntled sigh since she had been much settled and making good steady progress with her royal administrative work. Noticing his mother’s grumblings Fili said,

“Shall I go Mama? I can fetch Kili since you already have much to do. He can come draw with me.” 

“Thank you Fili, I would love that. There is always so much to be done.” Dis said whilst retaking her seat at the table and continuing. 

With unbridled excitement Fili placed his chalks back in their box before bouncing down the hallway to where he and his brother shared a room. Pushing the door open Fili was greeted by a merry babble from the crib opposite the door as Kili flapped his arms at the appearance of his brother. 

“Hello Kee, did you sleep well? Would you like to come draw with me?” 

Fili said in a gentle tone as he stood on the step Dwalin had made for him so he could reach his brother in the cot. Cradling his brother to his chest he carefully stepped down as Kili continued his eager barrage of gurgles and gibbering at Fili, clearly informing him of all the important things that had happened since Fili had left early that morning. Fili gave as well as he received, nodding and giving many ‘mmhmm’s’ as the two progressed back to the fire hearth. Upon arrival, Fili carefully set his brother on the floor before retrieving a set of chalks and more paper for Kili from his pile. At the sight of the activity Kili’s babbling grew excitement and he flailed his chubby arms in the air as Fili placed them in front of him. Fili established himself on the rug next to Kili and dragged his drawings towards him, so they might sit closer together. Kili’s stream on incomprehensible chattering continued as the brothers sat side by side. Despite its unfathomable content Fili was content to listen to Kili and merely happy to have the company of another dwarfling, even if he was still too small to partake in more active games. The happy companionship on the rug continued for around twenty minutes before being abruptly broken by Dis.

“Kili! Be quiet! I can’t concentrate!” She hollered across the room from the table, before dropping her hard gaze back to her letter with a furrowed brow. Fili looked at his little brother and saw his saddened eyes begin to get glassy and his lower lip wobble uncertainly. Without a second thought he pulled Kili onto his lap and into a warm embrace. He knew his mother hadn’t meant to be so rough in her admonishment of her youngest, but Kili had been very loud. Fili wasn’t sure what was going on but there had been a lot of letters and notes passing between his mother and their Uncle of late. Some coming very late at night with franticly panting messengers begging for an immediate reply to the King! Fili ran his hand through the dark locks of his brother’s hair whilst murmuring to him all the while.

“It’s Ok, little Kee. Mama has lots of work and we must be quiet so she can concentrate. Would you like to go into the garden instead?” Fili whispered to him. At the question, and despite his lack of verbal ability yet, Kili smiled and blew raspberries as a response. Fili took this for the affirmative he knew it to be and scooped his brother up.

“We are going into the garden Mama, I think” he called as he headed for the door.

“Thank you Fili, I’m grateful for that. I must sort out these affairs or your Uncle will never let me rest.” She smiled at the two before hurriedly turning back to the letter.  
Pottering into the garden, Fili stood Kili on the ground before clasping his hand as they made their way onto the grass with Kili pottering along unsteadily beside him. Fili decided to start with a look at the vegetables in their small patch which Kili loved to tend with him. Well, tend, in a loose use of the term, it was really more sit in the dirt and burble at Fili whilst he worked but it was enthusiastic burbling all the same. Fili pointed to the plants and named them all to Kili in the hope that it would distract his brother and that lots of talking would help Kili to start talking sooner so Fili would then understand him. He knew that Kili’s lack of proper vocabulary was a worry to their mother. Fili had heard Balin advising his mother to talk more to Kili as this would help encourage him, as well as responding to his nonsense to prove the important of communication. His mother had been less than welcoming to this advice.

“Honest Balin, they way you speak you would think I ignored my son. Fili talks just fine and he was raised the same way!” Dis growled at Balin.

“My Lady, you are a fine mother and I would never suggest otherwise. But you must admit, you don’t give Kili the acknowledgement he needs.” Balin countered. Dis sighed heavily.

“Balin I do try but there is so much going on right now. You know Dain is getting restless and that there are other whisperings from even less savoury parties about trade with Erebor. I simply don’t have the time and he has Fili to keep him company.” Dis replied dismissively.

“But he won’t always have Fili. Fili will soon be joining Thorin in the main court and despite my protestations I don’t believe he will wait for Kili to be old enough to come too. He is most impatient.” Balin cautioned with a heavy heart knowing he had already lost the argument. Durin’s could be insufferably stubborn Balin thought to himself.

Fili stopped in his listing of the various vegetables and as he became aware that Kili wasn’t responding to his commentary with his usual vigour or giving any response at all actually. Kili stood with his hand still clutched in Fili’s but was looking forlornly at the vegetables. Fili knelt down next to his brother, the soggy grass soaking through his trousers through to his knees but he paid it no mind. He took hold of Kili by his shoulders and gently turned him so they were face-to-face. 

“Kee? What’s wrong?” Fili probed tenderly. 

Those tiny shoulders hunched a little further and Kili’s head dropped further down. Despite having asked the question Fili knew what the problem was. Kili was surprisingly tempered for a young dwarfling, since most are often rather rambunctious at this young age, yet Kili had the kind compassion that was often unseen in their culture. Fili loved his mother but found it disparaging when she was short tempered where Kili was concerned. This combination of a fragile dwarfling and a sometimes hard-hearted mother meant that Kili often received much reproach from their mother even when he was being no more excitable than Fili. But equally Fili knew his mother loved Kili, when Kili slept Dis would often venture into their room and watch Kili sleep with a beautiful, devoted smile. Dis had told Fili how Kili reminded her of her brother and how Frerin’s hooligan-type nature frequently saw him in trouble with their Father, Thrain, and their Grandfather, Thror. So Fili knew she loved him because she had loved her brother and saw so much of Frerin in Kili.

“Kili, Mama loves you. I love you. You aren’t in trouble, Mama just....she has a lot to think about.”

Fili said whilst searching Kili’s face for understanding. Kili said nothing. Fili let out a saddened sigh at which Kili looked up. He gave a small snuffle before edging towards Fili and pressing himself into his brothers’ chest. Fili immediately wrapped his arms around the precious being. Fili hoped this meant Kili could understand him by reacting to his statement and that, at the very least, was progress. 

 

Dis watched from the kitchen window as the brothers hugged by the vegetable patch. Her guilt at snapping at Kili ran like both fire and ice through her person. She hadn’t meant to, but Kili still wasn’t using words and she had enough to worry about with all the extra hours Thorin was making her put in. His incessant prattle had been the final straw in her already frayed temper. But as she observed the boys, her boys, from the window as they embraced each other she was all the more grateful for Fili being able to love Kili in a way she couldn’t. Every time she looked at Kili she saw Frerin and it made her heart roar with anger and sadness at his loss. Dis hated herself for that tiny piece of resentment for Kili having the audacity to resemble her brother, even though rationally she knew it was not his fault. It made Dis all the more indebted to Fili for his open heart. At the very least he could be there for Kili in a way she knew she struggled to be.


	5. Independence Comes At A Price

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly more promptly delivered chapter and fractionally longer than my typical spiel. My way of saying thank you for the interest people have shown and the kudos that's been given. Many thanks as it is a genuine confidence boost that I'm doing something right. Let me know your thoughts as they are always valued,
> 
> Most appreciatively,  
> Sky

Balin looked on at the ever growing frown on the King’s face as he waited for Thorin to come to a decision over Prince Fili’s education. Thorin was desperate, almost fraught with tension, at a greater delay in Fili beginning his royal training. Balin could understand the importance of Fili being prepared, especially when Thorin had suffered his own Fathers and Grandfathers untimely passing and subsequent sudden projection onto the throne for which he had been woefully unprepared. In all seriousness, Balin knew Thrain had taken little interest in his son other than to criticise or belittle his actions and choices. Thorin had worked hard to prove himself to his Grandfather but the older Dwarf was distanced from his Grandson and more concerned about the wealth and productivity of Erebor. However, Balin saw the other side. Fili was still only a young dwarfling and needed to concentrate on being just that. More so, Kili needed the company. Dis was as disenchanted with Kili and Thrain had been with his own three children and it was all the more vital that Fili was there to provide the loving comfort and support for his brother, the same went for Kili always being there to follow his brother and give encouragement. Balin heaved a sigh and excelled as Thorin continued to weigh the advice Balin had provided and come to a decision. 

“Balin, I appreciate your concerns for Fili’s youth but he needs to be here. We both know that a throne is not a safe place and we need to be ready for anything the future may hold. If anything should happen to me I want Fili to at least have a rudimentary understanding of how to run a Kingdom. You know he needs to learn independence from his brother, he needs to make decisions for the good of everyone not follow around babysitting his brother.” Thorin stated his stormy blue eyes sharp and calculating. Balin took a steadying breath before speaking.

“He still needs his brother. If this line is to be successful two brothers who are a united front are far stronger. Kili is still very young and barely using words, he has no other contemporaries since neither Dis nor you will allow them to play with the small number of other dwarflings. Thorin, they are still living in Dis’ maternity cottage in Dale because you are terrified something will happen to Fili!! You can’t take Fili from one extreme to another overnight” Balin retorted, desperate for the brothers to remain together.

“Balin! That is why I want Fili here, so he can learn and join the court of Erebor!!” Thorin roared.

“But not at the expense of splitting the boys apart Thorin! Fili has plenty of time to learn, why does this need to be now?” Balin shouted back, uncharacteristically raising his voice.

“I won’t see Erebor crumble under a poorly prepared sovereign! Fili needs to grow and start learning. Continuing to hang around with his mentally deficient and much younger brother will not prepare him!” Thorin hollered.

“So Fili will learn humility! It will give him the compassion a King needs to care for his people! You will destroy the bond the boys have built. Have you no care to see Fili and Kili like you and Frerin once were? Don’t let the memory of who your Father was destroy....” 

“ENOUGH!!” Thorin bellowed, ending the dispute. “I have decided that Fili should begin life at court.” Thorin heaved several deep breaths before continuing; his face a deep shade of puce to match his anger.

“I do agree however, Dis needs to return too. People, all people, need to see the Durin house as a united front. It might help to calm the waters between us and the Elves of Mirkwood” Thorin finished, retaking his chair and leaning back as the beetroot shade in his cheeks receded with his anger. Balin knew there was no more to say on the matter, it was the King’s decision.

“Very well, I‘ll make sure adequate rooms are prepared for their arrival. I presume it will be for as soon as possible?” Balin remarked flatly.

“Yes, I shall go see Dis myself this afternoon and inform her of my decision. I shall take Dwalin with me; he can begin to explain to Fili about his physical training as that is now just as important.” Thorin said, his voice showing his preoccupation with the coming events and building plans for Fili’s education. Lacking his usual aplomb Balin bowed to his King before going in search of Dwalin to inform him of the King’s request as well as to set about organising rooms for the three arrivals. He may not be able to keep Fili from being thrust into the spotlight of Thorin’s expectations but he could try and keep the boys together.

OOO

It was sunny so both Fili and Kili were taking advantage of the opportunity to be in the garden. Dis, who had been working hard all morning caring for Kili, had gone for a quiet rest inside leaving Fili in charge. What had initially started out as friendly garden work had descended into an enactment of the slaying of Smaug, with Fili as the dragon and Kili playing Bard of Laketown who had fired the arrow that had destroyed the beast. Kili brandished his miniature bow and arrow set, so carefully crafted for his last birthday by Bofur, whilst Fili wore a large dark red dragon head piece and roared animatedly. Kili shot a toy arrow and its cork end bounced harmlessly off the front of Fili’s tunic, though in the world of imagination that wasn’t how it went down. Fili screamed theatrically before flailing his arms and clutching his chest with outstanding amateur dramatics. Kili watched as his brother fell to the ground feigning death, he gasped and rushed forward dropping his bow to the ground in the process. 

“Fee!! Fee! You K? Peese Fee K?” he cried in a desperate voice. He clutched the front of Fili’s tunic as tears began to well up in his dark chestnut eyes. Fili cracked one eye only to see the terror on his little brothers face.

“Kee? It’s OK, I was only playing, see? I’m fine, it was pretending yeah?” Sitting up Fili moved his hands to unclasp his brothers from the front of his tunic. Kili gave a shuddering sob before burying himself into Fili’s chest, his small frame trembling with the aftershock of the panic he had just felt. Kili had known they were pretending but when Fili had cried out and fallen down for a moment he thought he had lost him. Fili meant everything to Kili, he was the one to help him up and out of bed, care for him if he had nightmares, play with him and give him the reassurance he was doing things right that he, Kili, so often craved. 

Fili felt guilty at having caused Kili such terror, he hadn’t realised how good his acting was. He knew Kili was more fragile than other dwarflings he knew. Kili was often too shy to talk to the few dwarflings they associated with and often hid behind their mother’s legs when visitors came. Kili’s lack of speech had often caused him to be overlooked by their few visitors, especially Thorin, whom Fili knew thought Kili to be defective. It distressed Fili to think that people couldn’t see Kili and how great he was. He could wield his toy bow and arrow as good as any elfling could, or so Fili thought, he could draw better than Fili despite being less than half Fili’s age, not that their mother noticed and he had a wonderful imagination, even if he got a little too into it sometimes. Kili’s body had stopped shaking and Fili looked down at his tear streaked face.

“Come on trouble, let’s wipe your face clean and finish this gardening. It won’t take long” Fili said warmly. 

He unfastened Kili from his chest and got up to remove his headdress and taking Kili by the hand led him to the water pump. Now with a clean face and a smile back on his face Kili toddled back to the vegetable patch and scooped up his trowel. Fili followed and the two brothers settled back into amicable silence as they worked, Kili digging holes for the carrots and Fili preparing a trench for their seed potatoes. In little over an hour both were filthy but the job was finally done. Fili looked over at Kili and could barely suppress the chuckles with dirt covering every square inch of Kili, regardless of whether it was clothing or skin, he resembled an over-sized mole. Kili just looked confused at his brothers chuckling which only served to make Fili laugh all the more.

“Fee? Wha’? Fee?” Kili asked in his broken speech with an earnest expression.

“We had better clean you up Kee, Mum will go nuts if she see’s us in this state. Come on, you can bath before dinner” Fili said with laughter still bubbling in his chest.

Kili grinned at his brother’s happiness and settled into step beside him as they headed back to the cottage together. Sure they didn’t spend much time with other dwarflings and lived a relatively quiet existence but the two were at ease with the others company. The laughter in Fili’s chest was short lived though as the two dwarflings stepped in through the back door of the cottage. Their Uncle was here. Fili felt Kili shrink into his side at the sight of their stern faced, imposing Uncle and wrapped a comforting arm over his shoulder. 

“Fili, your Uncle has got some exciting news for you” Dis said with a genuinely thrilled smile gracing her features.

“Fili, it’s time you joined me in Erebor and learnt about state business. Your training for the throne starts here young Prince.” Thorin said in his traditional perfunctory mannerism.

“But what about Kili and Mama? We can’t leave them here” Fili said with trepidation.

“They will be coming too; it is high time the House of Durin reunited in the Halls of our Father” Thorin assured with a hint of irritation at Fili’s ignoring of the real issue at hand.

“You’ll still be studyin’ with Balin, laddie. But yer’ll be learnin’ yer' swordsmanship with me on the training fields. Turn yer’ into the warrior yer’ were born to be” Dwalin added with an affectionate grin.

“This is so cool” Fili exclaimed as he turned to Kili. “We’re going to Erebor, to be proper Princes. We can learn to fight with swords and everything! We might be able to get you a proper bow, not a full size one but....”Fili rabbited away vibrating with excitement at the prospects and Kili matching his smile in magnitude. 

“No, Fili” Thorin said sternly. “Kili will be living in Erebor too but you must start your training both academically and physically. Kili is no way near ready and doesn’t face the same future as you, his path differs.” 

Fili looked at his Uncle in total confusion.

“What do you mean ‘his path differs’?” Fili said, concern lacing his voice at the thought he and his brother won’t be able to spend time together.

“Once Kili is old enough he will train but to be a warrior, as King you will face threats from all directions and you need bodies to protect you. The whole purpose of your having a brother” Thorin commanded lacking all the tact and skill that he claimed Fili needed to practise. 

Even Dis gave a slight wince at her brothers crudely put statement but she knew it was true, as King Fili would be exposed and who better to protect him than his brother. Kili stood mutely watching the exchange between Fili and their Uncle. 

“Why can’t he join me? He’s just as smart, he’s just shy is all and nobody could beat his skill with a bow and...”Fili’s defence was cut short by his Uncle’s substantially louder voice.

“Fili, you will begin your training for leadership. It is high time you learnt to act independently and Kili also. Now, I need to finish talking to your mother, go with Dwalin to pack a few things together and be ready to leave.” Thorin said with a tone of dismissal. 

The boys left with Dwalin following them to their room. Once he heard the door click, Thorin turned with a dark shadow on his face to his sister.

“Why is Kili playing with a bow? He is a dwarf, not an elf!” Thorin said hotly.

“It was a gift Thorin, from Bofur and it is only a toy” Dis said disgruntled by her brother’s insinuation.

“He shouldn’t be playing with anything like that at all, he isn’t capable of that. What if he had hurt Fili?” Thorin retorted, his anger growing.

“Thorin, it is a toy with cork arrows. Do you think I would risk Fili’s health like that?” Dis snarled. A heart beat of silence passed.

“No, of course not Dis. I’m sorry but this is why I want to get some distance between Fili and his brother. I worry that Fili will become too distracted in caring for Kili, especially with his deficiencies, and lose sight on his real path.” Thorin said in a deflated manner, again, his sister having brought him back to ground.

“Why now Thorin? Why must we leave tonight? It’s hardly practical” Dis offered gently. The siblings had also been quick to anger but neither had nor would ever hold anger against the other for long. For as much as Thorin had suffered at the rough hand of their father, he knows that Dis had always been under the same pressures and expectations. He remembered the rage his father had flown into when Dis announced her engagement to Vili over the Prince from the Iron Hills. Their father had accused Dis of slatternly behaviour before dismissing her to round on Thorin whom he accused of failing to watch out for the interests of Erebor and the good name of Durin. Thorin could still remember the bite of pain in his cheek from his father’s fist when he remembered that conversation. It was only the arrival of Thror to the room and his mild mannered response to Dis’ news that had pacified his father. 

“Because time will catch up with us Dis. We weren’t ready when Frerin passed, I wasn’t ready” Thorin said in a low tone, showing an uncharacteristic amount of emotion. “I won’t let the same happen to Fili; he needs to learn so he is ready. He needs to diverge from Kili because he needs to know how to be independent and think for the mass not what is best for Kili. Look at his first reaction when I told him the news. He asked about Kili and you” Thorin implored to his sister, desperate for her to see what he was trying to achieve and protect. 

Dis sighed resignedly. What Thorin said made sense, Fili needed to start the next stage of his journey and, like Thorin, Dis knew it was not somewhere Kili could follow. For all that Kili looked like Thror she saw the youthful naivety that Frerin had had, the same nativity that had probably led to his premature end and Kili didn’t have half the warrior spirit that Frerin had had, he was just....docile, she thought bitterly.

"You're right," Dis said dejectedly. "Servants can collect the rest of our belongings tomorrow, let us not linger where there is no future. We must press on." She said with utter finality. Leaving her brother to his thoughts she moved to her own room to collect the necessary items for tonight, their first night all together in Erebor.


	6. The Isolation of Kili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has given Kudos, commented or hit. It's really encouraging. This chapter pretty much see's a beginning of the split between the brothers, as indicated in the chapter title, haha very subtle, I know :P  
> Peace,  
> Sky

Fili grasped Kili’s hand tightly as they followed Dwalin through the dark shadowed halls of Erebor. The brothers were quivering with anticipation at the prospect of exploring their new home and despite Fili’s many attempts at persuading Dis that now was the perfect opportunity to explore without getting in the way of anyone, coupled with Kili’s most pleading puppy eyes, their motherly remained resolutely opposed to the idea. The brothers jumped violently as a deep voice echoed from behind with Kili actually squeaking and bouncing into his brother. Dwalin turned with casual ease since he recognised the deep gentle tone of his brother. Balin was hurriedly making his way down the hall towards the trio.

“Good evening Princes. Your room has been prepared, all your things will be following on behind. They are this way a little away from the state rooms but that will allow you to make all the noise I know you are both capable of.” Balin said, smiling kindly. Fili grinned openly at Kili.

“It means we can play more and not upset Mama or Uncle” he said with a raucous giggle.

Kili gave a starry flash of teeth in return, showing that rare sparkle of character that Fili was capable of teasing from him. The show of love and life between the brothers assured Balin of his decision to room them together, hopefully Dis and Thorin would be too enraptured with state business to notice the boys’ accommodation. Taking the lead from Dwalin, Balin led the trio of to the left as if to head towards the kitchens. Fili had visited the mountain halls several times but Kili had never seen the halls in his short 5 years of life. He trundled along beside Fili trying to both match the pace of the three taller dwarves as well as absorb his new surroundings. The myriad of hallways, corridors and doors were not going to aid his navigation of this new territory. It truly did not compare to the cosy warmth of their small cottage with its sun-streaked windows and its eccentric little garden. In truth, Kili wasn’t sure how he felt about the cool, gloomy atmosphere that greeted them with its severe-face statues and imperiously carved features. But when looking to Fili for a judgement all Kili could see was the mesmerized expression which Fili held on his features and knew that he would support his brother in this new adventure. He trusted Fili and knew with all his being that if Fili was glad to make the move then he, Kili, should be too. Kili’s mental wanderings were cut to a sharp stop when the group arrived outside a large dark wood door with artistic carvings and rhunes engraved into the smooth grain and ornate gold paint accenting designs and the black ironwork outlining the door.

“Here you are young Durins, your new room” Balin said with a flare of grandeur as he pushed open the large door. As it swung open Fili bounded forward with youthful abandon and began to rush around the room to explore everything and investigate all that was in there.

“Look at the stone Dwarf heads on the wall these are so cool and the massive bed. It’s huge! You could fit the army of Erebor in here” he yelled jubilantly.

Fili leapt onto the bed and began to bounce up and down, flapping his arms as if he could take off into the air at any moment. It was whilst attempted to become airborne that he noticed the elaborate shelving and enormous chest that stood near a claw-footed desk. He flew from the bed with an exuberant whoop and ran to inspect the shelving. On the shelf were a selection of toys such as realistic little dragons that flapped their wings, beautifully coloured figurines of dwarves, elves and kings painted in a variety of flamboyant colours. On the lower shelves volumes of dwarfling stories lined the shelf; Fili pulled a few off at random but his attention as soon captured by the mysterious chest. Rushing forward he pushed it back to reveal an assortment of small dwarfling weapons made from wood. His gasp of awe was audible and made Balin smile at his successful furnishing of the room for the young princes. Fili pulled two swords from the chest and began to wield them with glee; twisting and turning about the room cutting down imaginary foe before rising up on the bad and battling further enemies. Balin basked in the youths’ happiness as he watched Fili leap around the large bed that easily measured 12 feet from one side to the other and decorated with deep blue throws and over sized pillows. Balin had decided on one bed to keep the Durin boys close as he was sure Kili would miss his big brother after having shared their cosy little room since his birth before being thrust into what must seem and infinite cavern of a place.

However, there was one who had yet to enter the room. Kili still stood unsurely in the doorway, his tiny hands fidgeting and twisting before his nervous body. Dwalin stood with him and watched the boy with cautious eyes. Dwalin wasn’t happy at seeing the clear anxiety on Kili’s face at the unfamiliar space before him. It wasn’t right, Dwalin hated to see the fearless character Fili was and how be charged into the unknown without a care whereas Kili didn’t seem to be able to cross the threshold into the room. Dwalin knew Dis had often given Kili over to Fili to care for and that the boys brother was a steadfast supporter of his younger sibling but still the number of times Dis had shunted Kili away from her person in favour of ‘work’ or ‘administrative business’ had clearly diminished the boys comfort around older Dwarves. In the entire time Dwalin had know Kili, his entire 5 years of life, he could count on one hand the number of times he had heard the dwarfling verbalise anything. Dwalin also hated that Kili had been kept from the public for as long as he had, by the time Fili had been 5 he regularly frequented the Dale market with his mother or Dwalin but Kili had been denied these opportunities when Dis had requested they have items delivered to the cottage and chose to run errands either by herself or with Fili in tow believing Kili to be too fragile to be around such busy crowds. In truth that was what Kili had needed; he needed to have practised being in unfamiliar situations and not to be led to see them as unconquerable tasks. Now, he saw Kili standing in front of an opulent room with utter panic painted on his small features and completely unable to enter the space but at the same time looking fearfully behind him at the dark corridor they had just traversed. Kili couldn’t even begin to revel in this new glamour like Fili could. Dwalin stepped towards the trembling figure and dipped into a crouch next to Kili.

“Yer’ don’ seem so excited about yer’ new room fella,” Dwalin murmured, attempting to soften his more traditional growl.

Yet, even with this softened approach Kili still curled away from Dwalin. Dwalin leant back fractionally to give the boy a little more space and hoped Kili would feel less encroached upon. Kili’s eyes flickered to the scene in the room, where his brother was still bouncing upon the bed, before shooting back to look at Dwalin crouched next to him. Kili took a deep steadying breath and as he prepared to give a response.

“I-I...jus-s-s-t....l-let F-Fee...h-h-have fun,” he exhaled as if he had run a marathon.

Dwalin was about to talk again but when he looked at Kili he saw the fragile shape taking another breath, not wanting to disrupt Kili he waited patiently for him to continue. “H-h-he always...p-p-puts up...with me...h-h-he...ha-a-ppy.”Kili spoke as if there was no air in his lungs but despite his trembling, the resolute look that Kili held on his face now told Dwalin that the dwarfling had meant what he’d said.

“I’m sure he loves having you with him, right now he’s just excited to explore a new space as you deserve to be.” Dwalin said eager to reassure the boy of his place in Erebor.

“D-don’t wan-n-t....sstop Fee....be...being K-k-king.” Kili said with a small sniffle tagging on the end.

Dwalin, again not wanting to swarm the dwarfling, gently placed a comforting arm around those impossibly slight shoulders before tenderly curling the tiny body towards him. At first Kili held his body with tension and confusion at Dwalin’s response to his words. Kili had been surprised by Dwalin’s choice to talk to him in the first place rather than ignoring his presence like most Dwarves did. But as Dwalin pulled him in close to his side and applied some moderate pressure with his arm Kili softened into the embrace and very slowly began to lean into Dwalin receiving that much need reassurance. The two remained where they were in the doorway and thankfully still unnoticed by the two who were absorbed in animated conversation in the room, with Fili still bouncing on the bed although with slightly less vigour than before. As Dwalin comforted Kili he felt his fury bubble to the surface once more at how neither Dis nor Thorin seemed to be willing to acknowledge Kili and his capabilities. For example, despite being clearly uncomfortable with these sudden changes he accepted them with trepidation but no tears, Kili was resolved to do what needed to be done. But Kili’s display of inner strength was not the real surprise for Dwalin it was his articulation, reaction and understanding of what was happening that caught Dwalin off guard. Dwalin had never believed in the view Dis and Thorin shared that Kili was ‘slow witted’ or dumb, but the fact that Kili could process the need for Fili to be here and his desire to make sure his brother was unhindered by anything, including himself, in his steps towards the throne showed a very intuitive mind.

“Yer’ not in the way Kili, yer’ exactly where yer’ should be. Supporting yer’ brother and learnin’ new things fer yourself.” Dwalin soothed, still speaking softly though more in the hope that the conversation stayed unobserved by others. At this Kili turned to Dwalin and locked eyes with him, searching for something that Dwalin hoped he would find. For a moment they stayed like that, with Dwalin trying to project as much as he could with an expression and hoping Kili would see he ally he had in Dwalin.

“Kili!”

Kili turned towards the direction of the shout and saw his brother sat on the edge of the bed, having finally stopped his bed aerobics but still with an emphatic smile gracing his face. Dwalin unhooked his arm from Kili’s shoulders and gave Kili a good-natured nudge between his shoulder blades to get him to move into the room, along with an amiable smile when Kili gave him a befuddled look.

“Come on Kee! You’ve got to check out this room, there’s loads of stuff here already and it’s just for us!” Fili called from the bed as he slopped dramatically backwards to starfish out on the mattress.

Kili tentatively stepped into the room and began to observe it; certainly it was sensational. Everything from the elaborately stitched rugs, the claw-footed desk, and a shelf adorned with toys and the truly excessively large bed. But what caught Kili’s attention was the small scattering of books at the foot of the shelf, not one for leaving a mess Kili made his way over to books and knelt down to place them back on the shelf. Kili loved books and as he placed them back onto the shelf he looked at the beautifully illustrated covers depicting dragons, warriors and all manner of excitements. Kili was so enraptured with the covers of the books he didn’t notice the arrival of more people to the room and it was the thunderous voice of his Uncle that brought him out of his reverie.

“Balin, what is the meaning of this? I asked for rooms to be prepared for the Princes arrival. This will not do, Fili is the Heir to the throne of Erebor and cannot still be sharing a bed with his little brother. It is not royal, it is not proper and it will not be happening!” Thorin bellowed at his oldest advisor.

“I only did it since the Princes are new to Erebor and thought they could use the solace of each others company until they were more established here.” Balin replied with a cool demeanour.

“No, time is not a factor. This is a new step for Fili and he needs to learn independence and he cannot do that with the infernal shadow of his brother dogging his every step and action.” Thorin stated in a hard voice.

“That is fine; I will see to it that a new separate room is prepared in the morning...” Balin began but was soon cut off.

“No. It starts now. Fili,” Thorin said turning to the Prince of the bed. “This will be your room and your things will be brought to you tomorrow. You have all you need here and the bathroom is through that door.” Thorin said indicating to a door in the far corner.

Fili was still on the bed but no longer a starfish, he watched with concerned eyes. He wanted Kili with him, not just for Kili’s sake but his own security.

“But Uncle,” Fili began.

“No this is no longer a discussion, I have made a decision you will be sticking to it.” Thorin remarked firmly before turning to face Kili who had once again shrunk in to himself whilst sat on the floor clasping a large book in his small lap.

“Kili, come with me and I will show you your room” Thorin commanded. “Quickly, it is late and Fili needs to rest for he starts training with Dwalin tomorrow. Dwalin, Balin you should both head off too and give the Prince time to settle."

Kili picked himself up from the floor and longingly placed a book on the shelf then made his way over to Thorin but remaining a little out of his reach. His Uncle still terrified him, his tall stature and dark features left Kili with little courage. As he approached his Uncle, he looked to Dis.

“M-mama,” he started quietly.

“You’ll be fine Kili,” Dis said tiredly. “Your Uncle will settle you in a new room and I will be along to kiss you goodnight. Now off you go, hurry its already late as it is.”

With that Dis turned to a still crushed Fili, who was watching his brother forlornly, no longer sure, how to feel about the move to Erebor, and began prepping him for bed by ushering him through to the bathroom to carry out his ablutions.

“Come, your mother is right, it is already very late” Thorin said as he turned from the room and Kili stumbled after his strong gait. Kili struggled to keep up with Thorins pace as he was led through a further assortment of uniform corridors and doors.

By the time they came to a stop, Kili couldn’t remember how to find his way back to Fili’s room and he no clue where his mother was even staying. The corridor in which they stood was more closed and cold than the one outside Fili’s room. Without any occasion Thorin shoved the thick-set door open and gestured for Kili to enter first. Kili stepped towards the dark room, Thorin took a torch from a bracket in the corridor and proceeded to move around the room lighting several of the bedrooms torches. Once the room was finally illuminated Kili took in his new surroundings. The room was gloomy but held a solid framed double bed, more than big enough to accommodate the small dwarfling, there was a functional desk in the corner and a large wardrobe next to it. Kili stepped further into the space and saw a door; he approached it and pushed it open to reveal a bathroom. The bathroom was again simply furnished but more than functional. Kili turned back to his Uncle who was studying the dwarfling from where he stood near the bedroom door. Kili dropped his eyes with the distinct feeling of being heavily scrutinised, but he summoned his courage to speak.

“Th-thank...you U-uncle....for the r-r-room” he mumbled with his eyes still downcast.

“You’re welcome Kili” Thorin responded perfunctorily. “I will leave you to settle, your things will be delivered in the morning and your mother will come by soon to say goodnight.”

Thorin turned to leave and wavered at the door looking back at the dwarfling who still stood in the middle of the room looking despondently around him. He looked so like Frerin with that sad little expression but he looked so alike Thorin’s father and it made Thorin's mind reflect to his relationship with his father uncomfortably. Quickly he banished that thought from his mind lest it make him gloomier and continued out of the room whilst calling over his shoulder.

“You should get ready for bed, it’s late.”

With that the door swung shut, is bang giving an eerie ring of inevitability. Kili shrugged out of his jacket and jerkin, folding them carefully over the end of the bed. He sat on the bed and pulled off his boots before placing them at the end of the bed too. He faltered at his socks and trousers; the room was really quite cold. There was no fire and Kili could see no spare blankets about the room. Deciding to keep them on, at least until his mother came and he could ask for an extra blanket, Kili scrambled up the large bed and wriggled deftly under the covers. Pulling them right up under his chin he gripped the sheets tightly in his minute hands as he allowed his gaze to move around the room. He wished Fili was here but equally he didn’t want to get in the way of his brother, Fili spent so much time playing with Kili and caring for him it must be wearing. The way Fili hadn’t said much when Uncle Thorin had separated them told Kili that really Fili wanted his own space, needed his own space. Kili’s mind flicked to what Uncle Thorin had said about him being a shadow. He knew shadows lurked and followed people everywhere, but he didn’t always follow Fili everywhere did he? He didn’t annoy Fili that much, right?

_But maybe,_ said a malicious little voice in his head, _maybe you do and Fili doesn’t tell you because he’s such a good brother. Maybe, you keep irritating him and he doesn’t know how to tell you ‘no’ or ‘go away’ hence why he said very little about your separating._ Kili mulled these thoughts over as he waited for his mother, he yawned heavily. Surely mother must be coming soon. Time drifted and Kili gradually slipped away into sleep as exhaustion finally overcame him. It was more than two hours since Thorin had left and the little dwarfling lay alone and isolated in the cold, dark room.


	7. The Ramifications Are Great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you again for all the kudos and comments, it's really motivating and gratefully appreciated. Little warning - it is going to get a little rough in this chapter, not explicitly but some of the tags will come into play just a heads up. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!
> 
> Peace,  
> Sky

Dawn broke over the solitary mountain, cool and crisp in the late autumnal sun, the end of the year was coming and all could feel it as the Dwarves began to prepare for the New Year. It was important times for Dwarves as parties and celebrations were thrown meaning invitations were cast between the noble families like confetti. The importance being that the hosting of foreign dignitaries was a time to discuss politics, forge friendships and seal deals over a flask of beer. Kili stirred despite the quiet of the remote living quarters in which he still resided, he’d long gotten into the habit of waking himself reasonably early so he can get to breakfast before the servants clear it away and he could get to his lesson with Balin on time. He had just celebrated his sixth birthday; it had been a quiet affair without too much commotion. A cake had been made, presents were given and gratefully received, Kili was thankful that his Uncle had declined to put in a visit as Kili was sure he would only cause the older Dwarf grief in some way. It had been his first birthday in Erebor and despite this difference; it hadn’t really differed from the previous celebrations they had had at the cottage in Dale.

Fili’s birthday however had turned into quite an occasion. Fili turning twelve had been marked by a huge celebration with a feast, dancing, drinking and over 200 hundred dwarves in attendance. Among these dwarves Fili had been introduced to a few of the dwarves who had, once upon a time, helped his Uncle in the battle of Moria and reclaim the Lonely Mountain from Smaug. Fili had chatted energetically with the few they had met and the dwarves had equally been impressed with the courageous soul they saw in the little lion prince before them with his bright eyes and golden hair. Kili had been present to meet a few of these dwarves but had chosen to hang back rather than get mixed into the boisterous behaviour before him, Fili had seemed so happy and it was important for him to meet these other important dwarves as he would one day need to work with them as King of Erebor. Kili still found himself to be very nervous around dwarves and at the idea of meeting such formidable ones he knew he would become only more tongue-tied and cause embarrassment for his brother and Uncle with a poor performance, far better to leave the interaction and discourse to someone who was capable. It was for this reason Kili had been grateful for the sedate affair his birthday had been after the truly raucous one his brother had experienced. It wasn’t that Kili didn’t like to be around others but he never knew what to say and when he did have something to say he was so quiet and stuttered so much those around him soon lost interest in trying to hear his mumblings over the din of other dwarves. There were a few like Dwalin who took interest though; Bofur for one had. He had been at Fili’s birthday and taken the opportunity to speak to the younger brother.

_“You must be Prince Kili. It is a true honour to meet you, Sire” Bofur had said with his bizarre accent as he removed his mad hat from his head, only to reveal a more bizarre hairstyle, and swept Kili an elaborately deep bow which drew a shy giggle from the youngster. In an attempt to show his gratitude Kili steeled himself and attempted conversation which this enigmatic dwarf._

_“You...a-are w-welcome. T-thank you....f-f-or coming S-sir,” he said almost inaudibly over the noise of a burping contest that had broken out among several of the guests, including Dwalin and Fili himself._

_“Thank you for having me. Now I have something for you as well as having brought something for your brother” Bofur grinned as he delved into the deep inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a delicately painted little wolf. It’s hair was a deep earthy brown and had ochre eyes, its long fur was smooth but textured to look real and the elegant curve of its tail showed gave it a graceful, majestic appearance. This wolf was beautiful and it was everything Kili wanted to be. Strong, independent, confident, stately. Seeing the small dwarflings smile dim after the initial lightning blaze of a grin, Bofur wondered if the boy was perhaps frightened by the wolf._

_“If you don’t like it I can easily craft you another, you know? I just thought, from what Dwalin had told me about you that this creature seemed to fit.” Bofur offered tentatively._

_“N-no...” Kili stuttered. “I-I love...him. He looks....w-wonderful” the dwarfling finished breathlessly._

_“Good. He’s a leader this one. Both strong and wise; a quick mind too. And he’s a good looking fella” Bofur added cheekily._

_“Like...Fee” Kili smiled back, his eyes flickering to his brother who was being congratulated by another Dwarf, Nori Kili thinks, on his brilliant gastric acrobatics._

_“A little, but not as loud. Thinks more than he roars. He’s got your hair too you know” Bofur said warmly ruffling the top of Kili’s head drawing a star-bright beam from the dwarfling, it pleased Bofur to see a little life in the tender soul before him. Bofur had been told by Dwalin that getting words out of Kili could be tricky but there was heart of purer gold in their than all that could be mined from the Lonely Mountain. Kili seemed a very bright and intuitive little dwarfling, if a little more reserved than Bofur and his brother and cousins had been at his age. Kili had given Bofur one last flash of joy before retreating away from the gathering, Bofur tried to track him through the crowd, concerned for the boy being on his own, but Kili managed to slip away gracefully without being spotted by anyone in attendance. Not that anyone would probably notice, thought Bofur bitterly. As far as Bofur could tell he was the only one have shown any real interest in Kili. Sure it was Fili’s birthday but that didn’t mean Kili should be shunted out of the light, Kili was just as important to the house of Durin; entirely necessary in the leading of Erebor once Fili took the throne. The revelry soon reclaimed Bofur’s attention and he was distracted by Bombur’s current ravishing of the feast table and Bifur’s attempts to slow him down; with that the curious small dwarfling fell from his mind._

But today was not a birthday today, as far as Kili knew, was a day like any other. He would have breakfast before heading to his lessons to learn his rhunes, maths, history and map work. It saddened Kili that he had to study alone; Fili’s lessons with Balin were in the afternoon after he trained with Balin in the mornings. It had been decided, by their Uncle, as always, that Kili would only hinder the progress of Fili’s lessons. Kili could appreciate this; he was a lot younger and only just starting to learn.

“Fili is very bright Balin and in order to concentrate he should study one-to-one with you” Thorin stated firmly, during a family discussion about the boys education around two days after their arrival in Erebor.

“I agree. He is too old to be matched with Kili academically. I can tutor Kili in the mornings and Fili in the afternoons” Balin offered.

“Yes that sounds agreeable. But I want Kili to experience other dwarflings; he needs to acclimatise to being around others. He needs to socialise, it might help him be more communicative. Mahal knows it’s not as though he could be any less” Thorin grumbled discontentedly.

“Thorin” Balin reproached, flitting his eyes to where Kili stood by the dresser of the reception room, clearly in ear shot of the conversation.

“Kili knows what he needs to improve on and there is not point hiding his deficiencies if he is to overcome them” Thorin dismissed. “I have organised for two other noble dwarflings to join his lessons. They should give him the opportunity to mix.”

The conversation continued between the Dwarves and Fili took the opportunity to sidle up to his brother.

“Hey, that’ll be nice. You’ll have company and others to share the answering of questions; I’ll be stuck on my own.” Fili sighed. “No one to bail me out when I don’t listen” he added with a smirk.

Kili giggled conspiratorially, failing to notice they had garnered the attention of the elders.

“Considering this is about you improving yourself Kili, you should pay more attention!”Thorin snarled from his chair by the fire.

Kili quickly dropped the smile from his face and became quiet once more.

“Dis take Kili, he clearly can’t manage to maintain himself appropriately during a discussion.” Thorin growled. “Something else he will need to improve on” he added darkly.

Dis strode to her boys.

“Stay here and mind you listen, Fili” she said stroking his face affectionately.

“Yes Amad, I will” Fili replied dutifully, giving his mother cause to smile.

"Come Kili, you can finish unpacking your things” Dis glided to the door and held it open as her youngest stepped out. They had made it all of one corridor when a messenger bustled up to them in a flustered state.

“His Majesty requests your presence My Lady. He wished to discuss affairs of state.”

“As always,” Dis groaned. “Kili go finish your room, I will come to check later that it is tidy. It best be if you do not want to insult your Uncles gratitude in giving us such fine rooms. With that she about turned and stormed off in the opposite direction.

Kili watched his mother leave and sighed inwardly. He had finished unpacking last night when he had waited for his mother to come say goodnight and, like the first night and the second, she had never arrived. But he was not going to disgrace his mother by acting poorly and it was a chance to prove to his Uncle he could do some things right. ‘A tidy room is a tidy mind’ Balin had once said and Kili had taken that to heart by being rather fastidious with his belongings both here in Erebor and before in their cottage.

Those first few lessons of Kili’s had not gone well. He had been placed with two other young noble dwarflings, Brorn and Grenir. They were two years older than Kili but he had still held his own in the classroom when Balin questioned them on their learning, the two other dwarflings had not liked this.

The first day of lessons passed without incident and although the two other dwarflings had ignored Kili when he had made tentative attempts to engage with them during the morning break Balin gave them in between lessons, Kili found it wasn’t unpleasant. He was familiar with being ignored; much later he wished that their dismissal of him had continued. On the second day Brorn and Grenir made their move during the morning break. Balin left the boys alone hoping that the lack of an imposing adult would encourage the boys to interact. Well they did interact, just not in the way Balin had hoped. Brorn approached Kili as Balin stepped out of the room.

“So think you’re smart, Elfling?” Brorn sneered.

“Yeah, like to show others up, half-breed?” Grenir supplemented.

“I-I...” Kili began fretfully; he wanted to make friends not enemies.

“Shut it! What makes you think, freak, that you have any right to try and humiliate us in front of Mr.Balin?” Brorn said scornfully, stepping forward until he loomed over Kili.

It was at this moment Kili noticed just how much more substantial these two were.

“S-sorry,” Kili faltered.

He honestly hadn’t meant to cause offense, Mr. Balin had asked him some questions and he had done his best to answer. Grenir laughed cruelly.

“The mutant can’t even talk properly. You don’t look like a Dwarf, you’re skinny and hairless. You, look like an elf Half-breed” Grenir spat as he now towered over Kili from his other side.

“We’ve seen your brother. He is a Dwarf, he looks like us and he’s normal. What happened to you freak?” Brorn says punctuating the last work with a vicious shove to Kili’s chest which sends the small dwarfling backwards into the wall and crumbling to the floor.

_Be strong,_ Kili tells himself, _remember you are a Durin. Don’t let Uncle and Fili down._

“I’m a-a Dwar-f,” Kili says as loud as he can. “My U-uncle is the K-king.”

“Yeah he is the King, but that doesn’t mean squat about you! Fili is the Prince, you’re pointless.” Grenir says giving the boy a ferocious kick to the chest.

Kili crumples further in on himself as he clutches his chest. It burns and feels like he’ll never breathe again, but he won’t let these two embarrass him. Kili fortifies his courage and pushes himself up despite the pain in his chest.

“You d-don’t hit m-me” he says fiercely. “Leave me alone!”

Kili makes to push past them and head for the door but Brorn and Grenir were far from finished with him.

“Eugh, Brorn! It touched me; I don’t want to be contaminated by the filthy elf-scum! He needs a lesson in Dwarf honour” Grenir snarls shoving Kili towards Brorn.

“Yeah, needs to learn his place as the mutt he is!” Brorn says with a grimace.

Brorn grabs Kili’s shoulders and spins him onto the floor before landing two brutal punches to Kili’s face. Kili cries outs at the pain but draws his left legs up to respond with a hefty kick to Brorn’s stomach knocking the weighty dwarfling off of him and into the desk at which he had been working sending ink and paper everywhere. Before Kili can get to his feet Grenir stops on his chest again, crushing the air from Kili’s chest. Kili kicks out at his attackers knee knocking him to the floor with a howl of pain. Kili staggers to his feet the burn in his chest is horrendous but he needs to leave. As Kili nears the door his arm is grabbed and used to spin him around; a fist connects with his jaw and makes him see stars. Kili flail his right arms wildly and feels it connect and a subsequent grunt from the article with which his fist connected. The door slams open.

“What is going on?” thunders the voice.

Kili’s heart shrivels with fear as he turns to face his Uncle. Thorin is stood in the doorway with Balin and Dwalin behind him and his face is thunderous with rage as he takes in the chaos before him. Before Kili can ratify himself to give a response Brorn steps forward.

“Your majesty we went to ask Kili if he would like to play cards with us and he freaked out!” Brorn says meekly under Thorins gaze.

“Honestly Mr.Balin he just went mad and attacked Brorn and I had t pull him off and then hit me and the paper and ink got everywhere and...” Grenir gabbles submissively at their elders.

“N-n-no....i-it wasn’t...I-i” Kili begins horrified that his Uncle is being lied to.

“Enough!” Thorin explodes and heaves a long breath as his eyes flash at his nephew.

Kili drops his eyes to the floor unable to hold that terrorizing contact anymore.

“Dwalin, take these two back home and please apologise to their parents on my behalf" Thorin says with his eyes still locked on Kili.

The two dwarflings hurry to the door and retreat with Dwalin who shuts the door behind him. Kili begins to tremble as he hears his Uncles boots step towards him. He chances a glance upwards and is confronted by the formidable visage of his Uncle which is slowly turning puce as he seethes with hostility as he beholds Kili.

“How dare you.” He begins in a low tone barely above a whisper. “How dare you attack other dwarflings! I put you with two others to provide you with company and an opportunity of friendship and this is how you repay me!” Thorin thunders as his voice rises in a crescendo, it’s all Kili can do to try and keep himself on his feet as his legs begin to tremble violently.

In the same way that Brorn and Grenir had not too long ago, Thorin stands menacingly over Kili’s diminutive form. Silence reigns for a moment.

“Answer me, boy!” Thorin bellows. “You will answer your King!” Kili trembles all the more as Thorin addresses his as a King not an Uncle, highlighting his distance from Kili and the seriousness of the situation.

“I-I...didn’t attack th-them...I s-swear” Kili says desperately, fighting back the tears which threaten to leak out.

“Then how do you explain the mess and the bruises on Brorns face or the limp that Grenir has. They are noble’s children, do you have any idea how you’ve humiliated me, your family, by brawling like a beast of the Western lands!” Thorin rants. “You are to spend two days in your room, no lessons, and no visitors. Your meals will be delivered to you. How dare you mock a mockery of the House and your ancestors. How dare you purport yourself in such a manner unbefitting of royal. Get out, before I extend your punishment.”

Thorin says turning his back to Kili and staring into the fire which burns merrily in the hearth at a juxtaposition to the emotional climate of the room. Kili hates the idea of not seeing anyone and desperately tries to reason with his Uncle.

“Pl-please U-uncle,” he says uncertainly whilst touching a hand to Thorin’s sleeve.

Thorin abruptly spins with a roar of displeasure and back hands Kili across the cheek sending the boy crashing to the ground.

“I said out!” Thorin detonates and he bends to grab the bewildered child by the front of his tunic hauling Kili up until his toes skim the ground. “I won’t repeat myself and if you want to battle with other Dwarves you had better be damn well prepared for when someone decides to do the same to you. Now go!” Thorin bellows dropping Kili’s tunic.

Kili turns and sprints for the door haphazardly and belts along the corridor to the sanctuary and prison that is his room. Balin stands aghast by the door, barely able to comprehend the malice with which Thorin handled Kili. He steps forward to confront Thorin on his actions when Thorin turns to him with pitifully sad eyes.

“He looks so much like Frerin but he is more like my Father than I realised. Fighting with other dwarflings over play, what am I to do with him? He’s nothing like Fili, I thought I was coming to see his good work Balin not him brawling.” Thorin laments as he slumps onto the bench by the desk looking forlornly at the ink spattered over the floor and paper.

“He had done some wonderful history work this morning giving not only an accurate written account of the first dwarf Kings but wonderfully balanced evaluation of their reigns. I’m sad that you did not get to see it” Balin says ruefully. “I’m surprised by what happened. Kili has never struck me as the quick to anger type” Balin continues thoughtfully.

“He’s a bully,” Thorin says dejectedly. “He’s happy to dole out malice to those around but a coward when faced with it himself.”

Balin contemplates Thorins words and believes that Thorin may not just be talking about Kili here but his Father, Thrain, too. Balin would never say it to his Thorin but he had secretly been relieved by the loss of Thrain on that battle field following the death of Thror, he would have made a cruel and spiteful King. The lion with a constant thorn in his paw.

“I’m only thankful that Fili is as strong and steady as he is, if Kili can’t be tempered Mahal knows what will become of him” Thorin bemoans.

“He is only six Thorin, there is much time for him yet. But please remember we only have Brorn and Grenir’s side of the story.” Balin placates.

“Hmm the boy hardly tried to deny it though” Thorin says gruffly.

“You know he struggles with speech,” Balin soothes.

“That makes it all the more concerning that he will resort to fists over counsel, no he needs to learn his place” Thorin decides.

Balin sighs “Yes you’re right, we can’t afford a reckless sword. But,” Balin pauses as he prepares to touch the line of advisor. “Do you think hitting Kili will temper him?” Thorin looks at Balin steadily for a moment before responding.

“I never intended to strike him, but he needs to learn that hitting out will encourage others to hit back. Brorn and Grenir didn’t show him that clearly by the way the boy stood there defiantly and he needed to see it from someone else” Thorin says callously, his cool exterior of leader back in place.

“Beating the boy won’t solve the issue, Thorin” Balin reasons.

“It worked for me,” Thorin argues.

“Yes, but you never needed nor deserved it. Thror took that line with Thrain and look how he responded to those around him” Balin injects.

“No, my Father was a cruel man. It’s the same cruelty in Kili, it needs to be tempered. We must keep Kili from Fili, I won’t have him corrupting our future King with his insidious behaviour” Thorin says as his voice becomes harder and more defined.

Balin relents, he is at quite a loss what to say. He has never seen this side of Kili but perhaps the punishment will mitigate the boys tempers and maybe in time he will become more social with others but he needs to learn to be social with more than just Fili.

“Then that’s what we will do” Balin concedes.

000

Kili sat on the edge of his bed, waiting. It had been a long time since the incident during morning break and so far his only visitor had been hunger. Nobody had visited as per his Uncles wishes but no lunch had arrived either. He had a few sucking sweets left that had been brought to Erebor along with his other belongings the day before but breakfast had been a long-time ago and now Kili was very much hungry. Suddenly a knock at the door kindled hope in his still aching chest. The door opened and it was to his relief that his mother entered with a tray of food. He rose to move towards her but was swiftly told otherwise.

“No,” Dis said sternly. “You sit there.”

Retaking his place, Kili clasped his hands in his lap and waited.

“You shouldn’t have hit those boys. That is not how we manage ourselves Kili, we are Durins and we are royal. Your behaviour today was unacceptable; I have seldom seen your Uncle so angry.” Dis fumed.

“Mama, I-i...d-didn’t...sta-art” Kili wavered but was soon cut across.

“It does not matter, it should never have happened” Dis growled at her youngest. “I am so disappointed with you” she added sadly.

This cut Kili more than the backhand from his Uncle had, he never wanted his mother to be sad. He thought he was acting like a dwarf should, protecting his namesake and family honour.

“Eat your dinner and get to bed, its late. ” with that she left. No hug, no goodnight, no eye contact, she hadn’t even looked at his face. Kili felt terrible, how could he have hurt his mother so? He looked to the food but didn’t move towards it, he no longer felt hunger only the crushing weight of his guilt. His internal berating was interrupted by another knock, Kili looked up to see Fili shutting the door quietly behind him.

“Hey Kee, you’ve looked better” Fili said softly.

It was the final straw to break Kili. As the tears began to roll down his cold cheeks he slipped from the bed and rushed to his brother. Fili wrapped him gently in his arms before steering him the small fire Kili had spent the afternoon tending to.

“Why did you do it? You don’t fight,” Fili said concernedly. Kili took several breaths before beginning.

“I-I tried...to t-talk to th-them before.”Kili sniffled. “They ignored m-me, but that w-was o-k.” Kili shuddered again. “Today they p-pushed m-me...said I w-was an...e-elfl-ling” Kili wailed.

Fili clutched his brother all the tighter until Kili whimpered and tensed against his chest.

“Kili, what’s wrong?” Fili questioned pushing his brother away from his chest to take a look at him. The front of Kili’s tunic was already loosened; Fili undid the drawstring and took a closer look at his brothers chest. He gasped at the bruising.

“Oh Kee, did they do this?” Fili whispered as he took in the darkened chest.

Kili nodded miserably. Fili put his hand under Kili’s chin and tipped his head back to look at his face. He grimaced at Kili’s black eye and swollen cheek, there was a small dribble of dried blood from his nose.

“Come on mucky pup, let’s at least clean your face up before bed,” Fili said as he coaxed Kili to the bathroom.

Dampening a cloth under the tap Fili turned and began to wipe away the blood, Kili screwed his eyes shut in discomfort but held still. Fili glowed with pride at the strength of his little brother not making a fuss over the pain. Once cleaned, Fili led Kili back to the bed and proceeded to help him remove his boots, trousers and tunic before helping him slip his nightshirt on. The glow of the fire and wall torches threw Kili’s vicious bruises into sharp relief and Fili felt ice pool in his stomach at the sight of it. Fili suppressed a shudder as he straightened Kili’s nightshirt before urging him under the covers; he bent and touched his forehead to Kili’s for a moment.

“Goodnight little Kee, I’ll come back tomorrow. I can bring some of those books so you don’t get bored in here” Fili reassured his little brother.

As he turned to head for the door and tug on his sleeve stopped his departure.

“Pl-please stay Fee...j-just f-for a b-bit” Kili said faintly before removing his hand and retreating under the covers.

“Of course Kee,” Fili smiled. He tucked himself around his brother and gingerly pulling Kili into his chest so as not to hurt him, soothingly stroking a hand over Kili’s long dark hair. It was their third night in Erebor and finally Kili felt like everything was Ok, if only for a little while.


	8. Diplomacy Is An Art Form: Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, major apologies are required! I allowed myself to fall down the rabbit hole (that's not a euphemism, you cheeky devils!) and got a little side tracked by a couple of mini fills, nonetheless I am sorry for such a delay. As always, I will try to do better.   
> I decided to crack this out in two parts otherwise you would have had to wait longer and it would have unholy in length (again, not a euphemism!)  
> ANYWAYS, apologies and Peace,  
> Sky

      As Thorin had decreed Kili’s punishment lasted for two whole days however, what Thorin didn’t know was that the bond between the brothers wasn’t so frail as to be broken by the decree of an Uncle. Fili had visited Kili the following morning after his swordsmanship lesson when he was supposed to be on his way to lunch; he had arrived to Kili’s unmitigated joy with an armful of books, a wedge of parchment and a fine set of chalk pastels for drawing. The supplies were what sustained Kili through that otherwise monotonous silence of his confinement, he settled himself to drawing a variety of pictures to adorn his walls, and perhaps once he was freed he could get Dwalin to help put them up. Kili drew a variety of things and by the end of that first day there were beautifully coloured pictures of his brother, Erebor, the Hall of Kings and ornate pictures of birds he had created from the descriptions given by one of the books Fili had brought for him. It was in his confinement that Kili had learned he had a flare for drawing, not a particularly Dwarvish skill, but one that made him happy nonetheless. In the times ahead that brought them to the Dwarven New Year it brought Kili great solace in those lonely times spent with only himself for company whilst his mother aided his Uncle and Fili learnt how to be a Prince.

      The disaster that had been his first real interaction with other Dwarflings in a classroom setting had been replaced by solitary lessons with Balin most mornings, although sometimes the wise old Dwarf would be called away to deal with affairs of state and Kili would arrive to a note pinned to his desk listing all the tasks he needed to complete as well as his often abundant pile of homework. Despite the weight of academic work that was thrust on his shoulders Kili relished his reading of books and loved learning about Dwarf history and the ancient Kings of bygone ages. He still drew and when was always pleased when Fili would come to visit and ask him about the pictures he drew; Kili was proud to do something that made his brother happy although he was a little disheartened by their mothers lack of recognition towards his work. Disappointingly he hadn’t managed to ask Dwalin for some help in getting his pictures on the wall of his room as he often didn’t see the great warrior because he wasn’t old enough to begin training and was, himself, often buried under a pile of homework designated by Balin.

      So time had passed and after their initial bumpy landing, of at least Kili’s bumpy landing, they found a rhythm of life in Erebor. The New Year was almost upon them and it was a quiet Sunday morning that found the often dispersed family located in the food hall for breakfast. Kili sat with Fili munching happily away on his toast revelling in the tranquil state of his often fractious family. Dwalin was sat smoking and watching the comings and goings of staff and Balin was sipping his tea whilst looking over a local trade treaty before Thorin signed. Thorin and Dis sat reading letters of reply to their invitations to celebrate the new year with the House of Durin; invitations had been sent far and wide with the guest list topping nearly one thousand in number. Every time Kili thought of the coming event he could feel the knot of tension in his stomach wind a little tighter, it wasn’t just the sheer volume of people who be descending but that he was expected to be with Fili in the middle of it all. No wandering off, he had to be there with Fili to greet all the arrivals and be on display as a Prince of the House of Durin. Kili tried to remain positive, he kept reminding himself that there were some positives. There would be gifts, there would be games for the Dwarflings and Fili would be with him all the while; there he could at least take some comfort. The peace was abruptly broken by a loud bark of laughter from his Uncle causing Kili to jolt and drop his toast on the floor. Flushing deeply, and hoping it went unnoticed, Kili ducked down to retrieve it and resurfaced to see his Uncle still engrossed in the letter that had caused his outburst. Letting out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding Kili dusted off his toast and continued to eat but watching Thorin all the while, still very much unsure of what caused the shout. Fili, as ever, helped satisfy his curiousity.

“What is it Uncle? Has Dain sent another rude joke?” Fili asked inquisitively. The second question drew another bark of laughter from Thorin and he turned in his seat to smile at Fili.

“No, Fili but King Thranduil has replied to the invitation and will be joining us for two days of the celebration!” Thorin replied with a broad smile adorning his face.

“Well, that’s....good, I guess” Fili said, clearly non-plussed by Thorin’s happiness.

“No why in the world would they join us?” Dis pondered aloud. “We invite them out of curtesy to many of our events but they always decline. Why now? What has changed?”

“Judging by the tone of this letter dear Sister they intend to improve trade with Erebor. But, if Thranduil thinks we will roll over for his terms he is much mistaken” Thorin replied pridefully.

“They do have much access to medicines, this new trade line could be highly beneficial” Balin intined.

“Not to mention,” Dwalin rumbled. “It would improve the security of Erebor if others new of a collaborative effort between our two Kingdoms. Might even put some off.” Dwalin said poignantly.

“Very true on all accounts but, let us not forget that as much as this may be a new beginning we mustn’t forget who we are dealing with.” Thorin reflected darkly. “This would be a reparation on their part for failing to help us when the slug Smaug stole Erebor.”

“Thorin that is dangerous ground and long passed. Let it die with the ashes and be blown away. This could be a new beginning with our relationship with the Greenwood, don’t bring past faults to this.” Balin cautioned.

“Balin, I want peace and trade with Greenwood but I won’t roll over and forget what has passed.” Thorin said staunchly. The conversation was dropped at that and all returned to their previous occupations. Fili turned to Kili.

“Elves, Kee!” he said in awe. “Here, in Erebor. Won’t that be exciting, Dwalin says their swords are really something. Imagine if we got hold of one! A real Elven blade!”

      Kili grinned enthusiastically. He had never seen an Elf, they were meant to be the most beautiful creatures with wisdom and strength beyond any other being; even if they had no beards. Perhaps this celebration really could be exciting.

000

      Soon enough it was the eve before Durin’s Day, which was the final day before the New Year, and Kili was having his final fitting for his Durin’s Day outfit. The gusts would be arriving tomorrow and most would be staying for two days, he and Fili had therefore been fitted for two outfits in order to look their best for the guests. Kili stood on the stool before the high mirror in Fili’s reception room. Dori, a great friend of his Uncle, one who helped reclaim Erebor from Smaug, stood fussing over his tunic which was still somewhat loose around his chest.

“You are so skinny Master Kili, we must feed you up some if you are ever going to fill out.” Dori lamented. “We need to steady you so you’ll be able to wield a sword like your Brother and Uncle.”

      Kili looked at the mirror and observed his figure closely before turning to study his brother and then back again to the mirror. Kili could see what Dori meant, he knew he was short because he had tunics of Fili’s, from when Fili was six, that were just an inch or two too long for him which was fine. But they did swamp him around his chest and arms resulting in the constant need of a belt to reign in the billowing fabric. His mother had said that he was built like Uncle Frerin and just needed to hit his teenage years, Unlce Thorin had always disagreed and said that Frerin was short but broad chested like himself. Looking at the mirror Kili could see the dark blue of the tunic gave his skin a pale glow which made his dark eyes gleam underneath his unkempt fringe that was forever falling across his eyes. Although he looked a little willowy he thought the tunic, trousers and covering jerkin looked brilliant and he had never truly felt more royal. Fili bounded up beside him to watch their reflections next to eachother in the mirror.

“We look like proper Princes now, ready to show everyone how strong our family is.” He exclaimed proudly.

“Yes...it’s a-all very ex-exciting.” said Kili softly before turning to Dori. “Thank you s-so much Mr. D-Dori, it l-looks...brilliant” he said gratefully.

Dori swept the young Princes a deep bow before saying, “A true pleasure young Sir, should you ever be in need of my services you may always call on me.” At this Dis entered the room and surveyed her two sons in all their finery.

“You both look wonderful” she said with a rare honest smile lighting her features. “Fili you look so grown up. Dori you really have outdone yourself, I know Thorin will be thrilled.” She glided over to the tailor and gave him a kiss on each cheek causing Dori to blush deeply.

“You’re most welcome My Lady, as I said to the boys you are welcome to call on me whenever you should need me. Although I think young Master Kili will need a few more meals before I have to adjust this tunic and jerkin” he said with a hearty laugh clapping Kili gently on the shoulder.

“Yes, well if you excuse us Dori Thorin wants to have a final talk with the boys before tomorrow to go over the timetable and how to greet the guests. But thank you for your excellent work, as always” Dis said as she gathered Fili and Kili before steering them out of the room.

“You’re most welcome My Lady, I shall see you all tomorrow” Dori called cheerfully as the trio left the room. Dis herded her, for once, well manicured boys along the corridor her movements purposeful and resolute.

“I want you both to get any early night tonight,” she said firmly. “And no trying to practise you sword movements in your room again, Fili” she added without a hint of heat behind it.

“Ok Mama” Fili complied with a winning smile, Kili knew that smile and he knew sword movements would be carried out regardless of Fili’s performance for their mother; Kili admired him for that strength of mind.

      At last they arrived at the family reception chamber that lay ahead of Thorin’s personal rooms, a space that always had Kili on his toes in trepidation. Dis knocked and the resonant voice of his Uncle called enter; Kili steeled himself only daring to hope the meeting would be short and no verbal response would be required of him. In the recent months he had grown a little confidence in his skills of conversation but his Uncle and times of pressure were still too great an obstacle and often left him mute, despite the admonishment he would receive because of his silence. Dis pushed the door open and stepped through Fili in her wake, Kili heaved a breath and followed behind his brother.

“Kili! The door.” Immediately chastising himself and reddening furiously Kili scuttled back for the heavy Oak door and closed it, how could he be so stupid? Last one in closes the door, honestly you fool, he berated himself whilst keeping his eyes locked on his shoes unable to face the undoubtedly disgruntled face of his Uncle. Kili shuffles towards where Fili is now sat in a large armchair with a rich red and deep gold covering, he feels a brief moment of temptation to sit down on the arm rest but immediately thinks the better of it and so chooses to stand next to the chair.

“So tomorrow the first guests will be arriving mid-morning, I will be having you both woken early so you can breakfast and dress appropriately before the four of us congregate at the Throne to begin receiving people. I assume what you are both wearing now is what you will be wearing tomorrow?” Thorin says, his tone firm but not overly aggressive.

“Yes Uncle,” comes Fili’s cheery response. “Mr. Dori just finished fitting them.”

“Well stand up then and let’s have a look at you,” Thorin says rising to his feet too to inspect the garments. Fili lifts his arms to should height and does one slow circle so his Uncle can appreciate the finery from all angles. “Fili you look like a true Prince, your Father would have been very proud. All your work with Dwalin in moulding you into a fine young warrior too, I imagine in a few years we’ll be at eye level if you keep growing” Thorin chuckles as he beholds his heir. The comment about his father raises some uncharacteristic bashfulness in Fili at receiving such a compliment.

“Thank you, Uncle. Kee too looks quite something, don’t you think?” Fili broaches turning to gesture to Kili by the armchair.

“Step forward Kili, don’t lurk in the shadows.” says Thorin gruffly. Timidly Kili steps forward to draw level with his brother and quickly runs both his hands down the front of his clothes in case of wrinkles.

“Stop fidgeting and stand still” Thorin growls impatiently. Kili instantly drops his hands to the side and tries to stay as still as possible, desperate to please his Uncle.

“Turn around so I can see what it looks like, or are you not proud of the hard work Dori has put into your outfit? Are you ungrateful?” Thorin snarls. Fili flicks a concerned look between his Uncle and brother. Fili wished that Kili would be a little more confident sometimes, if he had had the common sense to do a turn Uncle Thorin wouldn’t be getting so grumpy now. Their Uncle was right too, thinks Fili, his brother should be showing off their clothes because they really do look fantastic and they owe Mr. Dori that much, to at least take pride in what they are wearing. He sighs deeply and watches Kili spin in a circle for their Uncle.

Thorin looks on with unimpressed eyes at Kili and the air hangs with an unforgiving tension as they all wait for the verdict on Kili’s attire.


	9. Diplomacy is an Art Form Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Apologies for my lateness yet again! Bet you guys can see a pattern forming with regards to that :P Anyways, remember when I said this would be a two partner, well, I underestimated just how much I would write and would like to adjust this initial estimation to something more like 3 or possibly 4. In all seriousness more likely 3, but you never know!  
> Thank you for you patience, it's much appreciated. Hope you like it  
> Peace,  
> Sky

      The air is thick with tension and all eyes flicker between the steadfast King and his ever remorseful nephew. Kili doesn’t dare to make eye contact and instead chooses to lock his gaze with the large wing-back armchair behind his Uncle but he can still feel the weight of that calculated gaze bare down upon him. After what felt like an age, Thorin exhales a large huff.

“Dori has managed to make you presentable enough.” Thorin decrees, his disaffected and neutral tone returning. “But sort out your hair; you look like a wild creature with it hanging across your face like that.”

      In the face of what Kili can only construe as the closest he’s ever come to pleasing his Uncle, he too exhales the breath he’d been holding and nods compliantly at his Uncles demand. He steps back, all too grateful to put at least an arm’s length between himself and the behemoth that is his Uncle and King. The relief he feels is beyond extensive and he feels a weakness in his small frame that makes him want to crumple to the ground, but this is the last thing he should do especially since he is wearing the lovely clothes that Dori has slaved over for hours in preparation for this royal event. Not to mention, his Uncle is still very much in the room; so Kili leans lightly against the side of the armchair once again occupied by his brother in a hope of it baring some of his weight and making his slight legs less likely to buckle beneath him.

“As for your instruction concerning tomorrow, you will both breakfast early and dress after to maintain your day clothes. Following this, you shall meet your mother and I in the Hall of Kings. This is where we shall be receiving our guests; you will be seated with your mother and I on the dais at the head of the hall. Guests will be presented and we shall great them, you will not forget your manners.” Thorin maintained a stony glare as he said this last part looking at Kili in particular who, often due to nerves rather than rudeness, couldn’t always get the formalities out in a timely fashion and this, coupled with Thorin’s distinct lack of patience where Kili was concerned, often led to unwarranted punishments or chastisements.

“Yes, Uncle” says Fili heartily trying to assuage Thorin’s obvious displeasure with Kili. “We understand how important this is. When do you think the first guests will arrive?”

“I’m glad to hear that Fili,” Thorin smiles, looking at his blonde haired nephew fondly. “The guests may well start arriving quite early which makes it of paramount importance that you and your brother are fed and dressed promptly. However, they should all be here by sometime after midday.”

“Thank goodness, I imagine we’ll be pretty hungry if we’ve been in the Hall greeting everyone” says Fili jovially causing Thorin to laugh at his nephews relief at the idea food won’t be far behind the arrival of the guest, _a real Dwarf at heart_ , Thorin thinks proudly.

“Right, well in that case you had best get to bed so you can be well rested come the morning. Off you go” Thorin encourages with a gentle flapping motion of his hands. Kili looks on at his Uncle in mystification, it’s times like this he really struggles to get grasp of his Uncle’s personality. On the one hand Thorin is the stern disciplinarian who rules with a Mithril fist and then at times like his, their Uncle is affectionate and almost fatherly in his conversing with his nephews. As is the case, the sweet moment ends as Fili has already reached the door and is looking a Kili who has remained leaning against the armchair unravelling his thoughts on their Uncle.

“Kili quit dawdling and get to bed!” Thorin says in annoyance, bemused by his nephew’s lack of action. Starting at the loud voice breaking his thoughts, Kili shoots for the door and follows his brother out, mindful to close it behind him. The brothers wander down the lengthy corridor in a comfortable silence both lost in thought. Reaching the end where Fili will head left for his rooms near Thorin’s royal apartments and Dis’ rooms and where Kili will turn sharp right towards the array guest rooms, to the room that had become his permanent bedroom following the splitting of the brothers on their first night in Erebor all those months ago, the boys pause.

“Kili,” Fili begins before taking an ominous breath, unsure of whether to continue. “Why do you do that?” he asks. Kili gives him a confused look.

“Umm, do what, Fee?” Kili asks tentatively.

“When Uncle bid us good night and you stood there like a troll in sunlight,” Fili says exasperatedly. “Or when Uncle Thorin said he wanted to see you clothes and you merely shuffled forward like you weren’t pleased with the money he had spent or the work Dori had put in?!” Fili exclaims, his voice rising just a touch as irritation at Kili’s quiet stature and tiredness from his sword practise begin to take over his emotions. Dumbfounded by his brother’s admonishment, Kili stares mutely. This serves to only fuel Fili’s disgruntled state.

“See! You’re doing it now?” Fili states whilst pointing accusingly at Kili’s chest. Kili takes a breath and manages to force out some words.

“I, I just g-g-get tongue t-t-tied” he offers meekly. “I-I don’t d-d-do it on pur-pose.”

      Fili steps back deflating, he knows his brother gets nervous but with their Uncle? With him? It irritates Fili because it makes it look like Kili isn’t trying and it keeps happening. Their Uncle and mother work hard and they are lucky to have all they do, Fili wishes Kili could grow a backbone if only so he could show some real appreciation.

“Urrgh! I know,” Fili says dejectedly. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Look we’d better go to bed; I’ll see you at breakfast. G’night Kili.” He turns and walks away sullenly leaving Kili in the cold corridor.

      Turning away Kili too, heads for his rooms for once grateful he was placed so far from Fili so he might give his brother some space and not frustrate him further tonight. Arriving at his room Kili quickly undresses taking extra care to hang his clothes carefully over a chair to keep them neat; he rushes his ablutions and pauses briefly by the hearth to robustly stoke the fire in an attempt to warm the so often arctic room. Having done so he runs and hops into his bed, squirming under the covers and wriggling to try and dispel the shivers from standing in the cold air in his pyjamas for as long as he did. Sighing heavily, he rolls onto his side and his eyes catch sight of the wolf Bofur carved for him, standing majestically on his bedside table with the flickering fire light causing shadows to dance across his chocolate fur making it look alive. Promising himself to be on top form for tomorrow the little dwarf slips peacefully into a much desired sleep.

000

      The sounds of hurried steps are what draw young Kili from the peaceful realms of sleep but it is the icy chilled air of his room that really brought him to consciousness. Opening his eyes, and blinking several times to clear them from sleep, the small dwarfling drew a huge breath, held it and exhaled forcefully watching the twisting shape of his breath in the air above his face. A thrum of excitement ran through his petite frame, today was the day. The guests would be arriving, the party would start and Kili couldn’t help but feel energised by the prospect of the revelry to come. With unbridled enthusiasm Kili leapt forth for his bed and charged chaotically for the bathroom, a rare giggle bubbling from his throat whilst doing so, before bouncing back into his room to shrug on his old tunic, trousers and boots before breakfast. Far be it from Kili to ruin the day by spoiling his special outfit during the carnage that was breakfast with his family.

      Arriving in the breakfast hall, at speed, Kili launched into his traditional seat on the bench tucking his feet under himself so he could reach the tabletop. Looking around his mother was there, already in her finery, browsing through yet more correspondents and intermittently calling for a servant to fetch something or put something right. Ignoring her, Kili being far too used to being ignored by his mother in favour of duties, Kili turned to survey the melee that was flapping around him. People calling for extra pots, asking for the location of more bedding, more benches and chairs, did they have enough wine, had anyone seen the bathroom attendants and so on and so forth. Kili had never seen so much action in all his life and it made his head swim with a swoop anxiety, closing his eyes he focused on the sounds of his own breathing trying to calm himself. Although he was enthusiastic, and truly he was, about the coming celebration the dread of being faced with so many people in a constant swarm around him caused that ever present knot in his guts to give a hysterical twinge. Still breathing steadily Kili failed to notice his Uncle enter the room with Fili in tow.

“Kili! Quit day-dreaming and sort your breakfast, there is already much to do without you causing delays” Thorin rumbled as he took his seat near the end and Fili flopped onto the bench beside Kili, clearly still in the process of waking up.

      Carefully, and being mindful of his sleeves, Kili leant forward to pour himself and Fili some milk seeing as his brother was staring gormlessly ahead with his eyes heavily drooped. Once having done so, Kili reached for some fresh toast from the rack, smiling shyly at the kitchen maid who had placed it on the table and being honoured with a toothy flash in return. They had never spoken in all the time since he and Fili had moved into Erebor, Kili always being too shy to formulate a coherent and timely sentence, but in the last month Kili had summoned the courage to make social contact even if it was just a smile. In return he’d been rewarded with many smiles back and even an extra pot of blackberry jam, which was Kili’s favourite now, put in front of his seat when the maid noticed how Fili and Thorin often bulldozed through the pot of raspberry that was set at the table. Munching quietly on his toast Kili looked over at his brother who was in the process of trying to stack as many breakfast items onto his plate as dwarvenly possible. He noticed Fili was in his best clothes.

“Are you n-not w-worried about...getting food on y-your c-clothes?” he asked gently, very much still aware of the steely conversation from the night before.

“N-n-n-no!” Fili responded with a snide smile.

      Kili looked at his brother in disbelief, Fili had never mocked Kili’s stutter before; he knew it wasn’t something Kili could control. Unsure how to respond Kili turned back to his toast which had now taken on the texture of cardboard as he lost all appetite. However, not wanting to waste the efforts the kind maid had gone to too provide extra jam Kili crammed the last piece in without regard for table manners. Rising quickly, he turned and left the hall to get changed. As he walked the long path back to his rooms he reflected on what Fili had said the previous night and what had just happened. _Maybe he’s sick of me,_ Kili pondered darkly _, I wouldn’t blame him, I don’t even like me._ Kili had tried to stop his stutter but when he tried to prevent it he often stalled his speech and came across like a dumb mute and, frankly, he felt that was worse than stumbling over the words in the first place.

      At his room he quickly shrugs out of his ordinary clothes and into the finery Dori has created for him, standing before the mirror Kili carefully brushes the non-existent creases away from his front and straightens his already perfectly aligned belt once more. A steadying breath is his finally piece before he departs for the Hall of Kings, Kili feels safe in the knowledge that he will arrive ahead of the others since he had left breakfast before Thorin and Fili had started to eat. Opening the large oak door that leads into the side of the Hall near the dais where he will be standing, he shoves hard and manages to push to door open enough to slide through. The Hall looks magnificent, banners drop from the impossibly high ceilings, the marble and granite statues of Kings have been polished until they positively glow and an illustrious red carpet leads all the way from the front doors at the far end of the Hall to the foot of the dais itself. Dis had already taken her place on the large chair that was to the right of the throne, Kili noted that to the left of the throne there was another as equally grand in its design as the one that held Dis but there were no others. Kili approaches his mother reticently; since there move to Erebor she had become quite distant from him and often was about other business making her too busy for idle conversation with her youngest. Stepping onto the dais he broaches the subject of seating.

“M-mama, w-where should...I pl-place myself?” Kili hesitates but is proud that it comes reasonably coherent.

“You should be sat next to Fili, Kili. I would have thought that was obvious.” Dis replies bluntly.

      Turning to check, Kili notes there is no chair next to Fili’s but before he can inform his mother of the over site the bang of a door opening has his attention and he turns to see Thorin and Fili entering the Hall in a supremely royal manner; both looking every bit of the nobility they are. The two of them stride up to the dais as the small entourage who had been following them disperse themselves around the Hall carrying out last minute preparations before the first of the guests arrive. Taking their seats, Fili completely ignores Kili as he settles his clothes, brushing a few errant crumbs from his front. Thorin is doing the same adjustments all the while with Kili standing forlornly before his mother; Dis suddenly notices his presence. “Kili, you need to take your seat. We will be starting soon.” Dis says tiredly, clearly disenfranchised with her youngest.

“Ma-mama, I d-don’t h-have a...seat” Kili mumbles, looking at the floor. Before Dis can beckon for one the attendants to right the situation Thorin cuts in.

“No, you don’t. You are to stand on Fili’s left and be there should he require anything whilst we are receiving guests.” Thorin decides with his glare fixed on Kili daring him to challenge. Kili goes to Fili’s side and takes his place.

“Thorin, is that proper?” Dis queries. “He is royal family and could you not find another attendant?”

“This will serve two purposes Dis. First, it shall keep the boy from trouble by giving him a job to do and secondly, it will make it clear to our guests, most of whom have not met Fili, that he is my heir. To have both of them sat together could create confusion.” Thorin counters, having apparently thought the situation through quite thoroughly.

      Kili chances a glance towards his mother, to see if she agrees and notes that she is nodding along amenably. Turning to face the doors, Kili frowns internally at the idea of having to stand all morning but steels his determination that this is a great opportunity to prove his worth to his Uncle. If he can carry out this job to his best ability and please his Uncle, Thorin might start to look on him kindly. _Equally,_ Kili thinks, _perhaps this might make Fili feel better after all the difficulties I’ve made for him. The last thing Kili wanted was to lose his brother, he needed Fili, and he would be lost without him._

      The doorman bangs his heavy gold embossed staff against the ground to indicate the approach of the first guests. Subconsciously Kili straightens himself and smoothes the front of his clothes again. _He we go_ , Kili thinks.

000

      The morning passed by without too much problem, guests came, were introduced and passed off to mingle amongst each other in the Hall. The guests were a confluent selection of men, dwarves and a Hobbit, who introduced himself as ‘just Bilbo, thank you’, and all appeared baring gifts for the King Under The Mountain. Kili had watched patiently as Thorin introduced his sister and then his heir to the throne of Erebor, Fili. A few of the guests had glanced over Kili in passing but most had presumed he was a page to the young Prince and nothing more. At first this had rankled Kili, the idea that he wasn’t worth an introduction, insinuating that he wasn’t part of the family, not to mention his own mother failed to say anything to contradict the introductions. However, as the morning had progressed, Kili accepted that should he have been given the opportunity he would only have failed to make conversation and his pathetic attempts at social interaction would have only embarrassed the family. As it was Kili became quite content to stand quietly beside Fili and watch, baffled, at the sheer volume of guests and their often bizarre outfits, he had only left once or twice to get Fili a drink of water apart from that he had to do very little, although his legs were aching a little.

      Finally, a supernatural sound heralded the arrival of the Elves of Mirkwood. Kili was transfixed as these graceful creatures glided into the Hall with such radiance he hardly dare believe their existence; they were almost luminescent. Their strength was apparent but they didn’t look aggressive, they stood shoulder to shoulder and walked in uniform but without looking overtly military but more poised and elegant, almost like a dance troupe. What caught Kili’s eye was the group of half a dozen archers who stood at the back of the core party; their bows were something of radiance. Long, slim and gently curved in a refined double arc, made of some sort of pale, almost white wood, and, with his fine sight, Kili noted the individual fletching and carving that was engraved onto the bows, presumably to identify whom they belonged to. He fingers ached with desperation to only be closer so he could bask in the beauty of these creatures and their weaponry. He was brought back to the situation by the dulcet tones of his Uncle, as he rose and stepped forward on the dais to greet the Elven convoy.

“King Thranduil,” Thorin began. “You are most welcome in these Halls to our celebration and we are honoured by your presence.”

       Kili felt his eyes widen at his Uncles, slightly obvious, smooth talking manner; it was at quite juxtaposition to his normal grunts and grumbles, apparently there was some greater political reason for the Elves being here then, Kili noted.

“King Thorin, it is I and my Kin who are honoured to be received here with such grandeur for your celebration. I introduce my son, Legolas, Prince of the Woodland Realm.” Thranduil spoke with a deep sincere elegance but without a smile, merely a stately self-assurance on his face.

“You are most welcome, even if you are the last to arrive.” Thorin was unable to avoid a dig at the elves entirely then. “Allow me to introduce my sister, Dis, Daughter of Thrain and my nephew and heir, Fili, Son of Vili, Grandson of Thrain and Great-Grandson of Thror.”

      Fili took this as his cue to converse and rose from his seat and moved to Thorin’s side, before bowing low to the Elven King.

“It is most wonderful to meet you, especially at such an exciting time as our celebration of the New Year.” Fili said charmingly with a winning smile. The Elven King turned his head fractionally and offered a bow in return.

“You are most welcome Prince, as I said; it is our honour to accept the invitation to celebrate with the House of Durin.” Thranduil remarked serenely.

“Make yourself at home and feel free to ask for anything we have not provided. We shall be dining soon, shall we walk together?” Thorin offered with a gesture of his hand towards the direction of the dining hall.

“Yes, we shall.” Thranduil said, again with that lips-only smile, and followed docilely along with Thorin, as the King Under The Mountain, pointed out some of the finer points of Dwarfish construction and creations as they went.

      Kili couldn’t help but feel that whatever upper hand or agreement Uncle Thorin was hoping to achieve with the Elves Thranduil was well aware of the Dwarf Kings intentions and was therefore playing his own game as well. This could all get very messy, Kili reflected, same thing happened to Drornir II in the second age. Maybe I should ask Balin about it in our lessons in the New Year.

“Kili! Come on, we need to be follow Uncle and Mama.” Fili groused drawing Kili from his reverie.

"C-coming,” Kili called and pattered off after Fili to the dining hall. Kili couldn’t help but feel there was a thunderstorm brewing and he could only hope he wasn’t about to get caught in it.


	10. Diplomacy is an Art Form Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, consider this proof of life people with a resolute promise to bring more to you this weekend. The darkness descended and it has been a bad time for my on a personal level as of late and all areas of my life have suffered because of it. I t goes without saying that I have not handled it well.   
> But I am working had to find my courage and get myself back on track, here's to the future people! As always your comments and kudos have provided much encouragement in the recent weeks.  
> Many thanks to all who've read, commented, kudos'd and the like,  
> Peace,  
> Sky

      Being mindful to watch he didn’t trip over Fili’s feet, Kili tried to match his pace in order to keep up with the moving procession being led by his Uncle and King Thranduil. Upon entering the dining hall behind his mother and brother Kili quickly made a cursory scan of the room through his peripheral vision. He was in awe of the colours and vibrancy of the decor that had been laid on for the celebration; he hadn’t realised Erebor was home to this many creators of tapestries and cultured artisans. Turning to throw a brief glance over his shoulder, Kili noted that the Elven guard who had fallen into step a short way behind himself were indeed allowing their eyes to skate over the room around them. As is typical of Elves, most wore a mask of indifference, but young Kili’s eyes were captured in their wanderings by a red headed female Elf, who was leading the guard. Being ensnared by her flawless features Kili noted a distinct glint of mischief in her eyes and it was only when these bedazzling jewels met Kili’s that she graced him with a hidden smile. Having received such a touch of acknowledgment from a stranger, and a stunning one at that, proved too much for Kili’s nerve and he turned away sharply to hide the sudden flush to his cheeks. The leading party headed toward the main table that stood at the front of the dining hall at horizontal angle across the room with the other tables placed length-ways in order to allow everyone a fine view of the Royals who were on display. Stepping behind the table Kili continued to follow Fili along past several guests, including King Thranduil himself, but it was as he went to move past the imposing bulk of his Uncle that a rough hand grabbed his upper arm in a vice-like grip. Leaning in close enough for his voice not to carry further than Kili’s ear, Thorin snarled at his youngest,

“Remain with your brother, as before it will be your job to wait on him. See that you do not neglect your duty. Do not embarrass this family.” The last sentence was punctuated with a flexing of Thorin’s grip around the limited circumference of Kili’s bicep. Being mindful to keep his town hushed, not that he ever spoke in overly loud tones anyway, Kili replied unquestioningly.

“Y-yes, Uncle.”

      The interaction over, Thorin turned back to take his seat leaving Kili to scuttle after his brother and take his place slightly to the left of his brother and several clear steps back. The expansive banner that hung behind the main table cast a short shadow behind the Royals who sat under the heavy golden chandeliers suspended from the volumous ceiling. Grateful for this coverage Kili allowed the darkness to engulf him. Once he was immersed in the dark Kili exhaled a heavy breath and reconciled with himself that really this was the best place for him to stand.

_Well, by keeping busy I won’t have to make conversation with anyone so at least I can’t embarrass Uncle or Mother with my poor verbal skills,_ he thought. _I don’t like having everyone looking at me anyway, he added trying reason with himself that he was happier with these circumstances. No, I’m better off here where I’m less likely to get food on myself and can make this day pass easily for Fili. He’s the one who has to put up with all these stuffy nobles anyways._ Having assuaged his mind to his new assignment of waiting on Fili, Kili turned his attention to the hall as the last few guests found seats at the tables. So lost in thought as he took in the innumerable of faces before him he jumped when there was a heavy thump of metal on wood and looked at his Uncle, the King, stood to address the hall.

      Honestly, he knew he should be listening to his Uncle’s rhetoric but Kili found his gaze meandering among the sea of faces and it wasn’t until the flash of red hair glistened under a chandelier with the pearl like skin glowing divinely in contrast under the soft light, that he realised he had found what he was looking for. From his place in the shadows, he felt more confident to study this enchanting creature and her radiance that truly had no compare to anything that rested in Middle-Earth.

_True,_ Kili supposed, _I may not have laid eyes on the hallowed Arkenstone but, Mahal, how can a rock contain the grace and strength she so heavenly clearly beholds._ Surprised at his own force of feeling, Kili feels the heat of a second blush rise in his cheeks and is again appreciative for both the shadow and his small stature. Continuing his study of the Elf, Kili makes a promise to himself. _By the end of this night, I shall know her name for at least then I will have come as close to true divinity as I ever could in this place of rock and stone._ These ever so slightly macabre, and perhaps romantic, thoughts were soon unceremoniously shoved from his mind at the hiss of his brother calling for his attention. Leaving his surprisingly strong convictions behind, Kili tentatively approached his brother.

“The feast has started, there is beer and I want some...and try not to take all day,” Fili commented waspishly.

“R-rright away,” Kili hesitated before leaning over to retrieve the flask and hurrying off to do his brothers bidding. Meandering through the thronging crowd Kili’s diminutive size gave him a distinct advantage in reaching the 3 dozen barrels being stored in the cool gloom at the rear of the dining hall behind the heavy fabric that decorated the royal table. Having successfully filled the flask Kili returned to table being mindful not to lose any of the amber liquid on his way. Arriving promptly, Kili approached from the left as he had observed the servants do and carefully placed the flask on the table before Fili.

“A-anthing else, br-brother,” he added with a friendly smile, desperate to rekindle his brotherly bond with Fili. In response, Fili turned fractionally towards Kili, the malicious gleam once again arisen in his penetrating sapphire eyes.

“N-no,” he leered , again mocking Kili. “and don’t call me that, you should call me ‘Your Majesty’ as you would our King.” He added emphatically before turning away and giving a small dismissive wave of his hand.

      Thoroughly taken aback, Kili returned to his position in the shadows. The once protective shade having taken on a coldness that seeped into Kili’s bones as he reeled from his brothers dismissal. He couldn’t believe it. Fili was truly moving beyond him and according to everyone else, this was exactly what was meant to happen! As the feast wore on and Kili focused on the duty he had been charged with, his sole aim now to be attentive and thorough in his tasks with the hope of pleasing someone, anyone.


	11. Extend the Hand of Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a little short again but hey, it's got to be my quickest update in a while so lets take the wins where we can find them! :P  
> Peace,  
> Sky

      The day wore on in a never-ending parade of demands for service from his own family and Kili was grateful when, by early evening, his family were saturated enough with food to finally stop calling on him for more food or drink. In fact, things had been quiet for what Kili presumed was the better part of an hour. Quiet enough that he might even be able to slip off for some sustenance himself. It had been an immensely wearing afternoon; Kili had scarcely stopped his activity and had eaten and drunk nothing since his meagre breakfast of jammy toast. Being mindful to observe his surroundings less his absence is noted, _as if_ , Kili thinks bitterly, Kili slips under the drop curtain into the large space behind. The food is being brought out from the kitchens before being delivered to the long tables in the main part of the dining hall for the still gorging guests. The table in sight, Kili moves deftly through that staggering guests, drunk on copious amounts of beer no doubt, and grabs a spare plate. Levering himself up onto the seating bench that lines the table Kili surveys all. Eyeing the food with something akin to a feral beast Kili proceeds along the bench piling a variety of items onto his plate; pork, chicken, carrots, tomatoes, eggs, asparagus all make it aboard. Reaching the end of the selection Kili’s eyes go wide as he spots and large bowl of relatively untouched blackberries. Pouncing forth unrestrainedly, his small hand reaches for the delicious fruit he adores so much. Carefully lining the edge of his plate in a most decorative fashion, Kili gently levers himself back to ground level.

       Once at the floor he realises a problem that he failed to notice in his haste to reach food, he has no seat. Glancing fretfully about himself Kili realises that the only proper seats are out in the dining hall where he will easily be spotted and reprimanded by his Uncle for lounging on the job. His only option, therefore, it to remain on the service side of the curtain where at least he will just be near enough that should his family require anything he will be able to attend as quickly as if he never left. Shuffling back to the curtain Kili drops to the floor, being mindful not to spill the precious cargo and begins to pick his way through the his pleasant little picnic. Sat here, he begins to feel at ease for the first time in a long while. True there is still a lot of people and hustle but no one is looking at him where he is secreted in the shadow of the curtain; he can also see a lot and as much as Kili is cowed by the prospect of conversation he finds the observation of life fascinating. Lost in thought as he watches the comings and goings of those around him, Kili misses the approach of another and the nearly leaps a foot in the air at the voice.

“Now, far be it from me to feign knowledge of Dwarves but, that is not the typical variety to be observed in the Dwarvish diet, no?” tinkles a soft voice.

      Looking up so abruptly, he almost kinks his neck; Kili’s gaze is beholden to the beautiful fire haired elf he saw was captivated by in the procession and finds himself lost in her radiance once again. A gentle smile graces her soft rose petal lips as she is greeted by Kili’s stunned expression. He attempts to form words but he is apparently part fish. Noticing his failure to response, she allows herself to fold down onto the floor next to him in a singular balletic movement.

“I simply mean, Small Friend, that I have rarely observed a carefully constructed diet. Furthermore, I should love to procure some blackberries for myself and should very much like to know”, she delicately leans across to pinch one from his plate before tossing it skilfully into her mouth, “where these ones came from.” She says finishing with a small laugh.

“Th-th.....I....j-j...” it just keeps falling out, even Kili can’t tell what he is trying to say; any minute now she’ll leave, quick you fool do something, he scolds himself.

      Realising words will never come out, Kili resorts to gestures and amiably pushes his plate towards the elf with what he hopes is an encouraging smile.

“Well thank you, Small Friend.” She adds with a smile of her own before dipping forward to pluck a few more of the luscious berries from the offering before her.

“J-jam.”

Oh no, the words are still falling out, he sighs. The elf looks at him kindly but with confusion evident of her elegant features. Again, panicking, Kili resorts to gestures and points to the berries.

“F-f-favourite.”He falters and gasps breathlessly at the end.

"You know conserves are the one thing we elves really don’t do well at creating yet, I adore them." She responds.

 _Mahal! She understood and she hasn’t runaway!_ Kili feels hope kindle in his chest. The awakening and the friendly nature of the Elf only encourages him further. “Mm-more?” he queries her softly and when their eyes meet it causes a rouge to rise in his often too pale cheeks. Her smile is answer enough; I would ransack every blackberry bush in Middle-Earth for that smile, he thinks, thoroughly beguiled by this heavenly creature before him. Rising unsteadily to his feet he races back to the table to procure more of the sweet treats, heading back his travels are briefly blocked by a swaying crowd of Dwarves rambling in a typically furious tone between each other, in doing so they cause Kili to lose sight of his friend. Kili’s heart thumps wildly as he frantically hops from one foot to the other whilst they move along, upon clearing his path he darts back to his patch and his heart sings as he sees that she is waiting for him. Arriving, he can’t contain his joy and his lips tug into a fully unashamed smile as he presents the gift.

“Now that was swift movement, are you sure you are a Dwarf, Small Friend?”

      For once a question of his lineage doesn’t spark guilt or depression in the heart of Kili. She is impressed; she believes him to be worth more and smiles in a way that is neither cruel nor mocking but good-humoured. Kili shrugs and shuffles his feet bashfully.

“Hmm, well you clearly have sharp eyes in order to spot such goodies amongst that well stocked table. What’s your weapon of choice, Small Friend? You seem to keen for brute strength but wise enough to know where a good view point is. You found yourself a good look-out here, come on Small Friend, or” she says with a mischievous flash of her pearl white teeth. “I will keep all the blackberries for myself.”

      Kili giggles at her antics, but feels unsure. He hasn’t trained with a weapon yet, Thorin believes him too small and stupid. Kili knows what he would choose though, that special toy of childhood still lies carefully squirreled away in his room. He bites his lip uncertainly, she is most lovely but could he trust her? Sighing deeply, he throws caution to the wind.

“A-a b-bow, my L-lady.” Is his soft reply.

“A bow, indeed, but there is no Lady here Small Friend. I’m Tauriel and whose company do I have the pleasure of?” Her voice still affectionate and smooth like a breeze in the summer. He breathes deep and takes the plunge.

“K-kili.”

“Well, Kili. I am most honoured to meet you. As an archer, and a friend, would you like to come see the bows we have? I might even let you have a go by way of a thank you for these wonderful delicacies you have provided for me and allowing me to share your look out.”

She offers openly and Kili almost throws himself at her when she addresses him as an archer and a friend. Never have such titles been so freely given to him.

“Yes p-p-please, Tauriel.” Is his tentative reply, barely audible above the din of the guests but loud enough for the keen hearing of an Elf.

“Well come along then, Kili” Tauriel says kind-heartedly as she rises to her feet like the sun in the sky and looks to him to follow. Kili, too, gets to his feet and steps into walk beside her moderated pace. _So, there is life in this world and it goes by Tauriel,_ he thinks joyfully.


	12. Dwarves Can Forge More Than Just Metal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So incredibly late, oops, very sorry but life got hectic. But hey, I wrote something, hopefully get the next part out soon as it is already drafted. Hope you all had a nice Christmas, if you celebrate, and a good New Year!  
> Peace,  
> Sky

     Kili follows Tauriel diligently as she skirts the edge of the curtain to head for the door leading off into the second and reserve halls, Kili is too excited about the prospect of meeting more Elves and seeing their weaponry to be concerned by his families requirements. It is the first time in a long time that the Dwarf has chosen to act for himself and without the consideration of his supposed duties.

      Tauriel is mindful of the small silhouette that follows her path, she observes him through the corner of her eye. As they make for the door she notices his footsteps are rushed but soft, like a child trying to creep out of bed unseen, he is hunched and wary of his surroundings. Once through the door however, his countenance changes remarkably. His back straightens and the small figure finally lifts his head from its downward tilt, she notices his lithe figure and defined cheekbones. A little less hair and he may even pass for a child of the Elves, she thinks. Continuing into the second hall Tauriel leads Kili over to where a small contingent of Thranduils guard have gathered for a small round of target practise. This was not an event by chance but of prior design by their Monarch who felt it important that a casual display of ability was an important factor in retaining an image of control and strength to the Dwarven populous.

      Tauriel however, had no interest in the politics of leaders nor felt the need to prove her worth and was attracted by the idea of competition and an opportunity to play for high stakes. Arriving at the table occupied by the Elves of the Guard, Tauriel greets them jovially.

“Well, I am relieved to see the gambling has yet to start I would hate to miss out on collecting my winnings. Gladrin, would you like to hand it to me now to spare yourself some embarrassment?” Tauriel asks with a teasing tone. The tawny haired Elf turns towards her with a rueful smile.

“Now good Captain, you know I only let you win to help the others maintain their faith in your abilities” Gladrin responds smirking. A couple of the other Elves chuckle appreciatively at his cheek.

“Is there dissent among the ranks?” Tauriel taunts. “I believe the only lack of faith is yours in your own skill Gladrin, but if you are so sure why not put something of worth up for the prize?” Kili remains in Tauriels wake watching the banter being traded back and forth and at Tauriels suggestion of a prize he notices the others perk up infinitely. Kili watches Gladrin as he hesitates before his captain; the Elf shrugs away his concerns and steps forward with a palm open.

“I accept you challenge Captain and await the opportunity to best you with readiness,” he smiles confidently.

      But Kili knows when he sees a beaten man, he’s seen it often enough in the mirror, Gladrins smile is honest and excited but the whole exchange between Tauriel and Gladrin had an air of inevitability, of frequently trodden ground. The other Elves are beginning to chatter in exhilaration; exchanging bets and debating the common rate of value. Kili observes earnestly from his position in Tauriels shadow and almost collapses in shock when he is addressed by Gladrin.

“How about your friend? Does he wish to bet too?” Gladrin smiles at him before turning to his Captain.

“Young Kili here will not be betting no,” Tauriel says delicately. Kili feels his stomach swoop when she says his name and also a small amount of relief that he is exempt from the betting, he has nothing of worth to offer.

“No,” continues Tauriel slowly. “He will in fact be shooting on my behalf.”

The statement has the desired effect. The Elves, once engaged in animated discussion, have now all halted their debate and are watching Kili intently with their gaze occasionally flickering to their Captain for confirmation of her decision. Kili, too, is staring at Tauriel like she just lit her head on fire. Fear coils in a tight knot in his stomach with all the blood rushing from his horrified features. _Oh God, no, I’ll fail! She’ll hate me!_ Panic quickly flooding his mind at the prospect of what is to come. _I had one friend and I am about to blow it. Well it was nice whilst it lasted,_ he thinks cynically.

“Well, now that makes it more interesting,” one with blonde hair comments whilst looking on Kili with steady, unreadable eyes.

“You’re right, Forlian” says another deep chestnut headed Elf. “Gladrin might stand half a chance now.”

      The tension break like a wave over the bow of a boat and bell like laughter rings out amongst the gathering, but again, they aren’t mocking him. Tauriel bumps his shoulder gently with her hip, a glowing smile alighting her features and just like that the weight falls away and Kili feels himself begin to smile back, all be it, sheepishly.

“I d-do n-not think I can...be-best an E-elf” he admits quietly, his eyes rooted on the floor awaiting her disappointment.

“I don’t know, you spotted those blackberries quick enough,” Tauriel replies lightly. “Try and do not worry, I’m cheering for you.” She finishes with another sublime smile directed at Kili.

      _Good Mahal, she’s going to stop my heart one day with those smiles,_ Kili thinks as he feels that crucial muscle stutter again at Tauriels attention.

“Come then Young Warrior, show me your skills and I shall show you mine” Gladrin says joyfully.

“I wager that young Kili here beats you three arrows to two, Gladrin and I stake twelve of my willow wood arrows on it.” Tauriels says confidently to Gladrin.

“I look forward to receiving them in due course” is Gladrins smirking reply.

Kili heaves a deep breath as he prepares himself, he can only hope that his can prevent himself from trembling too much and throwing his aim completely.

“Kili, you can use my travelling bow, but take care it is quite springy but shouldn’t be too difficult for you to retract.” Tauriel addresses him with another winning smile.Suddenly she stoops low and leans into his ear, Kili swears he has never stood so still. Her breath tickles his ear as she says in a barely audible whisper meant only for him,

“Remember, stay calm and take a deep breath before you drawback. But also, no matter what you are my friend.” She stands again and walks to collect the bow from a pile of items nearer the side of the hall. As she walks she contemplates her words that she just gave to her new friend and only hopes that she hasn’t thrust too much pressure upon those slight shoulders. _He just deserves to have some fun, I’ve never seen such a diminished dwarfling in all my years,_ she thinks forlornly. _What on earth has happened to flatten such a tender hearted youth?_

       Banishing the dark thoughts from her mind and focusing on the task at hand Tauriel quickly retrieves the bow and returns to the others before handing it off to Kili. She watches as he stretches the wood and weighs the item carefully in his hand assessing its balance with a keen eye. He might give Gladrin a run for his money, yet she thinks joyfully.

“Step up Young Kili,” Gladrin says boldly. “We each get three arrows; whoever scores the highest total wins. So keep up Little One, I shall shoot first.” he adds with a competitive grin.

      Kili takes a deep breath, face stern and eyes focused on the circular woven basket that the Elf named Forlian has placed, turned on its side, approximately 40 metres away from the positioning of the gathering. As expected Gladrins first arrow finds its mark flawlessly and Kili can only stand there as his core turns to ice, but he won’t let himself and his family, or Tauriel for that matter, down by shying away when pride is at stake. He’ll go down shooting.

       Stepping forth, he remembers Tauriels advice and takes a deep breath once he has nocked his arrow on the string. Solidifying his body, Kili pulls up his head and the bow with it. The world slips away into silence as he locks eyes on his target, he takes one last steadying breath before releasing. The arrow ploughs forth and stabs deep into the baskets weave, but is about six inches shy of the target. Kili grimaces and doesn’t dare to look at Tauriel as he steps back to allow Gladrin his second shot.

“Now, I didn’t even think his arrow would make it to the basket. He really is quite something, Captain.” Forlian says with an undoubtedly impressed tone.

“I know true worth when I see it,” Tauriel beams.

       Kili hardly dare believe his ears as he chances a look at the graceful Lady, she smiles again.

“I mean it,” she clarifies when looking at his puzzled features. “That was a truely excellent first shot with a bow you have never used and is built for an adult Elf not a young dwarfling.”

       Kili’s stunned look causes her a further giggle, before her gaze switches back to the contest. Gladrin makes his second shot again, flawless in accuracy and power. But this time, with Tauriels praise behind him, Kili feels more fortified in approaching a task than he has ever before. Deciding to really put up a fight, he carefully shrugs out of his doublet to allow greater shoulder movement and places it carefully off to the side. Coming forward he nocks with confidence and takes a deep breath before lifting his head to find that mark, another inhale and he lets fly. This time the arrow deftly lodges directly to the right of his first and only 3 inches from the mark. The Elves twitter excitedly at the performance and skill being demonstrated from one so young and not of their Kin. Kili, however, sighs heavily.

“Why so gloomy Kili?” Tauriel enquires concernedly. “You’re doing brilliantly.”

“I-I ha-ve los-s-t...a-and n-now you h-have to g-g-give arrows....away” he stumbles, again with eyes drilling into the floor below him rather than making eye contact.

“You have exceeded expectations and proven yourself of great worth, the arrows are not of importance but you are!” Tauriel says determinedly, unwilling to let the youngster berate himself without good cause. She drops to one knee and takes him by the shoulders.

“You may not have won, but you can still show them what you’re made of.” Tauriel says with fierce pride.

      Kili flickers his eyes to hers and she nods firmly but utter belief in her eyes. Steeling himself for his final arrow and determined to prove himself to Tauriel, and perhaps even himself, Kili steps forward with his final arrow fully intending to bury it in the centre of that target. Gladrin has stood back following his own final arrow and, although he is loathe admitting it, is impressed by the young Dwarfs skill and is respectful of his opponent’s final shot. Kili steps forth once more, following his previous pattern nocks and prepares to make the shot. Having located his target and pulled back as far as he can, he sets to release when a load bellow of ‘Kili!’ deafens him and causes him to jump considerably and accidently loose the arrow.

      In horror he watches it fly off at a complete tangent, the arrow ricochets off a large gold ornamental plate that is over 250 years old and a gift from the Iron Hill dwarves, he should know he did a paper on it, the arrow flies up high arcing through a low hung banner with the Durin crest embroidered onto it before coming down to pierce the tap of a large beer drum that was placed off to the side of the hall.

      The arrow hits deep, a testament to the strength Kili put into the shot, the pressure behind the now weakened tap proves too much and the tap flies forth like a possessed champagne cork causing a sudden spurt of beer to poor forth into the hall. It soaks several nearby guests who shout in surprise and scuttle away an sends to servants carrying a large roasted boar, still on spit, to slips and skid on the now lubricated floor before collapsing into a heap. Fortunately someone has the good sense to quickly upright the barrel to prevent further spillage, but the damage has already been done. Solemnly, Kili turns to the initial noise that caused the misfire although; there is no doubt in his head as to its cause.

       He turns to find himself looking upon the enraged features of his Uncle, a mortified Mother, an apathetic King Thranduil and a dozen or so advisors and courtiers who had followed the Royal progression as well as that large number of guests and servants who had already been present in the hall. His heart may have stopped, or it has possible reached previously unattainable speeds to the point where he can no longer define the sensations of its beats.


	13. And Then It All Went Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, got it out in the same week. Next update can't be predicted as I have a lot on in the coming weeks but will endeavour to prompt and not leave you guys hanging for a month or something. 
> 
> WARNING: child abuse and pretty graphic, you need not read as it will not affect the plot and you can just assume Thorin is a massive dickhead in this chapter
> 
> Peace,  
> Sky

      For a moment all is still. The very air itself has taken on a stagnant pose as all eyes fall upon Kili, who stands with Tauriels bow listing at his side. Any stood nearby could see the dwarfling begin to tremor as he beholds the behemoth that is his Uncle and, unfortunately, Sovereign. Kili can’t even decide where to look so he drops his gaze to the feet of his Uncle. _Oh Mahal, what have I done, I’ve ruined everything._ His thoughts race through his head but continue to fail to formulate a sensible or coherent plan. Finally, Thorin breaks the air but it by no means distils the tension that remains apparent in the room.

“Kili, return that bow to its rightful owner and go to your room, right away.” Thorin intones, the very effort it seems to take him to remain in control of his anger, no, hatred, is blatant.

      Slowly Kili turns to Tauriel and lifts his arm to pass her the bow, her face is unreadable but as Kili dares to allow his eyes to flicker to hers he can almost see a glimpse of sorrow in her enrapturing eyes. Hot shame burns through to his core at the realisation he destroyed her game as well as got himself in trouble. _She hates me, she regrets having anything to do with me._ Feebly he tries to formulate some kind of apology but, as always, words fail him and he is left mouthing like a dumb mute impersonating reason. His stall has proven too long and within a blink of an eye Thorin is before him.

“You,” he spits venomously. “have been given an instruction. Get to it.”

      His voice barely breaks a whisper and it makes Kili shake all the more at the thought of the wrath Thorin will unleash upon him. Dumbly and clumsily he bows to his Uncle and retreats quickly. As he passes his mother he need not look because he can feel her disdain of him and she is not alone in this it seems. As Kili moves towards the rear door of the hall to exit and head for the private chambers the crowd of Dwarves and Elves a like draw back as if he is diseased, he hears their hushed mutterings that are only low enough to create a din but are plenty audible for him to discern a few remarks. The words “fool”, “retarded” and “half-breed” being but a few of the choice phrases that pierce his heart. Kili speeds up as he nears the door hoping that he will soon be out of the sight of everyone, his horror is only further exacerbated as the last few Dwarves he moves past are accompanied by Brorn and Grenir, along with a handful of other dwarflings, who sneer as he passes without the decency of the adults to hush their voices.

“We knew what you were,” snarls Brorn.

“Now everyone else does too,” adds Grenir perniciously.

      Kili feels the heat of the first tears to break from his eyes and roll down his cheeks with a small sob he pushes hard against the door and gets through being mindful to push it shut behind him. Once he is on the other side people clearly decide that he is out of sight and therefore out of hearing as the noise reaches back to typical levels although it is no longer the riotous holler of a party in full swing but a wash with the twittering and bemoaning of gossiping courtiers. The tears begin to flow thick and fast as Kili half jogs backs to his room, darting around servants and a few misplaced guests. At one point he thinks he hears his name but can only imagine the scorn and hatred that would await him if he halted his hurrying, not to mention that disobeying Thorin right now would be the final nail in his coffin. His tears are in full flow as he reaches the sanctuary of his room and quickly enters before shutting the door hoping to keep the world at bay.

       In his room he is lost; he paces senselessly about the space as his heart continues to crash around wildly in his chest. He is panicking without hesitation. I can’t hide, he knows every inch of Erebor and it will only make him madder. _I can’t run for those same reasons. I could beg forgiveness but I know the words will never come out. I’m done for..._ As he concludes his situation his skinny legs give way and his diminutive frame slumps to the floor on the rug between his bed and the fireplace. Crumpled on the floor he looks down at his doublet and notices some wetness on the front from his falling tears. I should put this away, he rationalises, I don’t want Uncle to see me sat on the dirty floor in my nice clothes, it will only make matters worse. Not that I could really make this any worse. Gloomily he picks himself up from the floor and carefully removes the doublet and tunic shirt, folding them neatly upon the bed. Turning, he bends to make for the lacings on his boots.

It’s the roar that alerts him. It rolls along the corridor, radiates through the door and Kili swears he can feel his own chest vibrate with the sheer volume it carries.

“No Balin, I shall deal with the boy myself I require no council, the same for you Dis. There are still guests to entertain and we must continue despite the antics of that....fool.”

      The replies are too distant and moderated to reach Kili’s ears, but the solid thumps of footsteps towards his room tell him that only one Dwarf is on their way and Kili needs no guesses to tell who it is. The door crashes open and Thorin stands in the doorway practically aflame with menace as his incandescent eyes rove the room before falling upon his cowering nephew who stands cringing on the rug before him. Stepping into the room Thorin grips the edge of the door and seems to push back on it with minimal effort but the resounding bang of the door shutting is proof of the power in his arm. He stalks towards Kili and Kili feels his body take several small steps backwards, much against his own conscious will, as a counter measure. But his Uncle is too big and seems almost like a mountain himself at this very moment as he towers over Kili. Kili’s eyes are focussed off to the side looking at the edge of the rug rather than try and face his fearsome Uncle. Again, there is a moment, where all promise of what is to come is held in a silence before the storm breaks.

“You...cretin...you unspeakable idiot. How dare you!” thunders Thorin, his eyes ablaze with fire. “You had instructions, are you truly incapable of even the most simple tasks?” he rages in disbelief at his nephew. “Answer me, brat!”

At first it is just quiet gasps that fall forth from his mouth before a few sounds follow along.

“U-uncle......I-I-I.....u-um.....s-s-sor-rry” Kili begins, his voice quivering with fear.

The slap sends him to the floor and burning pain races across his cheek. Thorin moves to stand over him and Kili curls instinctively inwards but this only enrages Thorin further.

“DO NOT SPEAK OF ME AS UNCLE! I AM NO RELATIVE OF UNWORTHY SCUM LIKE YOU! HOW DARE YOU EMBARESS YOUR MOTHER AND I LIKE THAT. YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO DWARVEN CULTURE.” His rage is unstoppable and he bends forward to grab the shaking dwarfling by the hair and haul him to his feet so that Kili’s face is barely two inches from the fury of his Uncles.

“I THANK MAHAL KNIGHTLY THAT IT WAS FILI BORN FIRST SO I NEED NOT WORRY ABOUT SOME LOWLY FILTH SUCH AS YOU TAKING MY THRONE! YOU ABORT YOU POST IN FAVOUR OF MIXING WITH THE ELVEN GUARD AND PROCEED TO PRANCE AROUND LIKE SOME VILLAGE FOOL WITH A BOW! AS IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING YOU USELESS INGNORANT TURD!” Thorin screams into Kili who, without realising, has begun to cry in earnest.

     The tears of his nephew only inflame the King further and he proceeds to shake to dwarfling as his violence continues.

“YOU HAVE DISOBEYED ME AND EMBARESSED THIS FAMILY ALL TOO OFTEN! NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.” Thorin roars. His grip on Kili’s hair remains as he drags the crying, near hysterical, dwarfling over to foot of the bed.

“Take hold of the bed frame, accursed brat!” Thorin snarls.

      Kili is almost lost in terror at what is about to happen and his reactions are lost in his terror. So Thorin grabs his wrists in a breaking grip and slams them down onto the frame with such force that it is all Kili can do to stay on his feet but he can do little to hold back the cry of anguish.

“Silence! You horrendous mistake or I shall really give you something to honestly cry about!” Thorin growls as he steps back before slapping the back of Kili’s head viciously to punctuate his warning.

      Kili tries to stifle his sobs but is powerless to prevent the full body tremors that rock his small structure. Kili holds the position and listens intently to the actions of his Uncle who stands behind him breathing heavily. Truly, he regrets having removed his tunic as the cold of his room permeates to his bones and doesn’t help him to stay still in the slightest. The metallic sounds of clips do though, tension is rife in his muscles as he listens wide eyed to the sounds from behind.

“This will teach you some respect and humility for your betters and elders, boy” comes the growl of his Uncle as Thorin removes his belt from his own tunic and bends it in two so he grips both the buckle and the end.

      Kili hears the crack of leather as his Uncle strikes the belt against his boot before turning to the bared back of his youngest nephew. Kili hears a whistle and a heavy crack followed by a brief inset of peace before the irradiating pain course through his back as is Thorin has set his spine on fire. There is little time for verbalising his agony since the stillness is broken by the rapid fire of 4 strikes in quick succession landing in a myriad of places from the tops of his should to just above his tailbone. Now he screams. It tears from his throat and it almost sounds like it is someone else.

“Scream you little whelp! No one would dare save a worthless shambles like you in a thousand ages; you’ve mortified your mother and turned this family into a standing joke with your failure to even behave remotely like a normal dwarfling. You deserve this!” thunders Thorin as he inflicts a half dozen more strikes, the last few of which break skin and send Kili to the floor, the anguish proving too much for his body to withstand.

      Thorin’s rough hands are upon him again, grabbing at his left arm and ruthlessly flipping him onto his back before slapping Kili abruptly several times and even letting a crass punch snap the dwarlfings face to the side. That final punch sends Kili’s head into a twirl of disorientation and he struggles to maintain focus on anything as his head lolls back.

“You, will remain here until I find a use for you. No lessons, no visits and I shall bring your meals as I see fit. You will learn to obey me; you will cease to be the humiliation you are now.” Thorin bellows at him before thrusting Kili backwards, as if discarding a piece of rubbish for fear it may tarnish him, with that Thorin walks to the door. At the door Thorin looks back and sees Kili’s eyes are barely open as he lies slumped on the floor at the foot of the bed his cheeks already bruising from the recent violence.

"Learn fast, disgrace or you will be punished again.”

The door slams with finality and a click of the lock can be heard. Kili doesn’t even have the strength to formulate a thought as the black consumes him and he falls into unconsciousness.


	14. Salvation Is Not Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, been a little disconnected from my writing as of late. Still, here is another chapter. I can't promise the next will be available soon but I will do all I can to keep going. Thank you to all who have commented, it really did help push me on to write more :D  
> Peace,  
> Sky

        It was with a tired body and a thoroughly befuddled mind that Kili returned to consciousness, although he soon wished that he hadn’t. For a good long while he just lay there as his awareness returned, his slight body was too weak to coordinate movements as of yet. Slowly, but not without a heroic effort, Kili was able to begin to sort through his brain and the hefty load of information it had compiled in order to understand his current situation. Unfortunately, this was the moment where consciousness became strong enough for Kili to gain some physical perspective of his predicament. His eyes came open and he blinked owlishly at the room, his face was twisted to the side as he lay on his front with a view of his bedroom floor in the foreground and the dark cave of the unlit fire hearth in the background. It was here Kili made the mistake of attempting to upright himself; having tried to move his hands to lift himself up Kili couldn’t contain the sob of hurt as his back flared to life. His body was a paradox of fire and ice; his back burnt as if the muscles, spine and skin itself were very much on fire but his arms were heavy like lead and icy cold without any sensation. Kili allows his body to slump back towards the floor and rests his aching skull against the cool stone by way of anaesthetic. A moment later the stone had done its work and helped to clear the stubborn fog of throbbing from his mind. _I think I had best stay still_ , Kili affirms to himself, not that I can go anywhere anyways he confirms to himself as the memories of his Uncles final instructions from the night before return to him. Fortifying his strength Kili makes for a second attempt at movement; drawing his arms steadily in front of himself he levers his weight to his forearms as the burn intensifies he pauses to breath heavily. Sucking in a deep breath he drags his legs forward until his form takes the shape of a cruel mockery of a prayer position. From here he braces his hands against the foot of the bed and, with continuing slow movements, begins to inch his feet under himself until he is finally standing. Even if he is leaning heavily against the foot board of the bed for some much needed support.

        Kili’s head swims and for a brief moment he feels as if his legs will give way to undo all his hard work, but he holds fast to the foot board, despite the pain in his wrists, and remains vertical. _Well, now what?_ He queries seriously. _I need to clean up, if Uncle returns he will be mad if I’m not dressed._ Kili’s grip remains tight on the bed as he uses it to brace himself as he takes the first of many shuffling steps towards his bathroom. Once there Kili notices how his head has once again begun to swim and his vision is becoming more distorted. Leaning his shoulder against the wall Kili allows the soothing balm of the cold stone to settle his swirling mind and bring him back to sense. _I can’t stay on my feet anymore, it’s too hard_ , he laments as his legs wobble violently whilst lowering him to the floor. He crawls like an animal to the bath trying desperately to ignore the pain in his back which has still burning callously with every softened movement of his body, as well as the pain from bending his wists. He reaches the side of the claw footed tub and leavers himself carefully to his knees so he can reach the taps and begin filling the tub. The gentle rush of the water cascading into the tub helps compose Kili’s bewildered brain, for a moment he contemplates adding the bath milk but changes his mind at the thought of his open wounds exposed to the sudsy mixture. He remembers Fili cleaning the cut on his chin after his run in with the dwarflings in his lessons and the memorable sting of that encounter is enough to make him reconsider the bubbles.

        _Yeah, Fili had only been dabbing my face with water that time and hurt like mad!_ Finally the tub was full and Kili could not longer put off the inevitable. From his position on the floor he was able to remove his socks and boots with a minimal amount of flexing his back but relented from his sitting position to remove his trousers; which he does so with nominal movement and a light shimmy of his hips to get them to drop, along with his small clothes. _Thank Mahal I’m skinny; it’s a blessing for once,_ he thinks appreciatively. Gracing the side of the bath tub Kili uses his arms to support his weight as he steps into the deep pool of water, approving that the water has come out at a warm temperature but not overly hot enough as to aggravate his injuries. Regardless, when it came to the actual lowering of himself into the water the lapping of the fluid against the gashes on his back, several of which had broken the skin quite deeply, roared fiercely and the pain itself took Kili’s breath away. For a moment he panicked. _Get out, I need to get out!_ his mind screamed. Kili breathed deeply and did his best to calm his much frayed nerves. _No, stay. Stay, you need to keep them clean. Nain II died of wounds that went untreated, I need to get clean. Come on!_ he berated himself, _be a real Dwarf for once!_

        His mind began to settle as the pain dissipated a little under the warm influence of the bath. Continuing to breathe rhythmically in through his nose and out through his mouth Kili began to relax incrementally. His back and ribs, which had faced their own brutality, still ached deeply but the water was nice for his cold extremities and now the initial sting had left the ache was much more manageable. For a good long while Kili allowed the water of the bath to take a large proportion of his weight whilst his hands gripped the sides of the bath to provide additional support. Suspended semi-weightlessly, Kili’s mind wondered what would happen now. He had disgraced the family beyond belief, his back was evidence of the rage his poor performance had inspired from Thorin, but his Uncle had mentioned no time frame as to how long this punishment would last. Fretfully, he thought of Fili and his mother. _Will they hate me too?_ Kili didn’t feel he could blame them, he’d just gotten so caught up in the magic of the Elves he hadn’t considered the ramifications. _I must apologise to Fili, it was an important day for him to meet lots of foreign dignitaries and I destroyed it. I have to apologise,_ he thought desperately. The idea that he had spoilt the day for his Uncle and behaved as a disappointment was becoming standard fare for Kili but, of late, Fili had been becoming more distant and Kili feared, above all else, that his constant prattish fooling was finally wearing his brother’s patience down. Resolved in his mission to atone for his behaviour Kili decided that he had been in the bath a good long while, twenty minutes in all reality, and that hopefully Fili might visit and provide opportunity enough for Kili to apologise. But he needed to be out of the bath and presentable so Fili could take him seriously. This in mind, Kili hauled himself up from the warmth of the tub and stumbled onto the now noticeably cold stone in search of a towel. Kili knew his Uncle had forbade him from leaving his room but, with any luck, Fili might visit again as he had after Kili’s run in with the other dwarflings and provide a suitable opportunity for an act of contrition. If not, he would at the very least make himself available for the opportunity and not be so brazen as to spend his confinement lolling about in the bath.

        Having retrieved a towel from the rack in the corner, Kili enveloped himself in the soft fabric and took a moment to breathe in the soft scent of mint, a scent which he had always enjoyed. His head felt considerably clearer for having bathed but it still felt as if his ears were stuffed with cotton wool, a very odd sensation he thought. Pottering out of his bathroom felt the chill of his bedroom greet his body, he needed to get dressed if he didn’t want to catch a cold. _That’s the last thing I need,_ he thought, _for Uncle Thorin to see me as sickly as well as useless._

         Raiding his large wardrobe, Kili chose to don a simple deep blue tunic and dark trousers also taking care to select an undershirt to help stave away the cold. The ordeal of dressing was more cumbersome than Kili had first imagined but he battled resolutely through all the while refusing to think of his pains as injuries. _Injury would imply I was hurt in service, I am hurt because I need to be punished,_ he thought resentfully to himself. Getting the tunic over his head led to the stretching of his flayed back and the pain very nearly had Kili back of the floor in agony. By the edge of his nerves he managed to stay on his feet though gasping as is he had fought a band of Orcs. Once dressed Kili looked about forlornly and decided to perch on the edge of his bed whilst he considered his next move. Listen carefully, he could hearth faint hustle of bodies moving about and could only surmise that it must be morning, this belief being further substantiated by the rumbling of his tummy which had been greatly neglected in the past 24 hours. _In fact, I don’t think I’ve eaten since the feast with Tau- no! Stop it. Don’t think about her, them, it-Stop,_ Kili desperately tried to squash the thoughts from his mind, he didn’t feel ready to reflect on his stupidity, the guilt and shame were to great and fresh. Sighing deeply Kili, continued to think on his situation, what could he do, really? Uncle Thorin had instructed him to remain in his room, but he was so desperately hungry. Edging to the door, fearful that at any moment it would fly open and his Uncle would realise what he was trying to do, Kili tentatively reached out to tug the latch only to discover to his great dismay that it was locked. A small amount of relief flooded through him, _at least this way I can’t disobey Uncle, even if I wanted too. Not my choice to make._

        Returning to look at his room, Kili decided that he could at least warm the room up by lighting a fire. Steadily he set about preparing the base with kindling and tinder, before picking out a selection of logs in various sizes and setting them aside in an order of small to large to help manage the fire. Carefully, so as not to put burns in the hearth rug, Kili set about making sparks with his flint. Quickly, because of his nimble fingers, Kili’s sparks caught the tinder and he dropped his tools to cup his hands and blow air to stoke the timid flames he’d created. Soon the kindling was catching and crackling merrily with fire and Kili was able to load a few small logs onto the flames. Mesmerised, he watched the fire spread and the flames grow, a little pride bloomed unfamiliarly in his chest. _At least I’m good at making fires._ True, it was one of the few things Kili had mastered quicker than his brother who still tended to be overly enthusiastic with adding additional fuel and quickly smothered his own fires to nothing but smoke. The heat from the small fire began to seep into his skin and relieve him of some of the numbness that even the bath hadn’t managed to assuage. Kili remained by the fire for much of the day, he couldn’t have said how many hours had passed but deep in his heart Kili was grateful to be left alone, in peace, even if only for a few hours.


End file.
